Friday, July 29, 2011

Thanks, Technology, and August Movie Preview

Thanks to everyone who commented on CassaFire's cover and synopsis HERE! I just found out the release date has been bumped up a bit – February 28, 2012. I have six months to panic…

Today’s Fantastic Friday Writers topic is technology.

It’s a given that science fiction involves technology. Whether set in present day, the future, or a distant galaxy, new devices and gadgets will appear. Some people revel in technology. Some want it simple so the story moves along. Others shy away from it.

It’s no secret I dig computers, tech toys, and gadgets. Heck, I’ve hooked up so many components to the TV, my wife doesn’t even know how to turn it on! But since I work with it every day, I didn’t want to focus on it in my writing. Sure, there are spaceships and teleporters, but I don’t delve into the details. I put in just enough to make it plausible. It’s there, just simple.

Besides, I have no idea how a teleporter works, do you?

Check with my FFW partners Elizabeth, Anastasia, J. D., Deirdre, M. Pax, and Jeffrey, and Charlene for their take on technology.

Time for August movie releases! It’s a quiet month for movies, so I threw in two DVD releases as well. All descriptions courtesy of the IMDB.

2 -
DVD - Rio
Very colorful and fun animated flick. I reviewed it HERE.

5 -

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Director: Rupert Wyatt
Stars: James Franco, Andy Serkis, Freida Pinto
The Plot: In present day San Francisco, a scientist (Franco) looks for a cure for Alzheimer's disease by experimenting on a chimpanzee named Caesar. The development of animal intelligence brings about a war for supremacy between humans and apes.
Not impressed with the trailer - the CGI apes do not look real. I also don’t buy that there are enough apes in San Francisco to take over the city. This one will need outstanding reviews to get me into the theater.

16 -

DVD - Priest
“Eh” reviews meant I skipped it in the theater, but will catch on NetFlix.

19 -

Conan the Barbarian
Director: Marcus Nispel
Stars: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan
The Plot: Muscle-bound warrior Conan the Cimmerian (Momoa) seeks to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.
Conan the Barbarian. Momoa from Stargate:Atlantis. Need I say more? Oh, and it’s rated R - can’t have a PG13 barbarian film! They do it right, this could be the start of an awesome franchise.

Fright Night
Director: Craig Gillespie
Stars: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, David Tennant
The Plot: Teenager Charley Brewster (Yelchin) guesses that his new neighbor Jerry Dandrige (Farrell) is a vampire responsible for a string of recent deaths. When no one he knows believes him, he enlists Peter Vincent (Tennant), the opportunistic host of his favorite TV show, to help him take down Jerry and his guardian.
The first Fright Night was fun. This remake is going to have to do something really awesome to even come close, especially without Roddy McDowall. Again, a wait and see what the critics think…

Cowboys and Aliens this weekend! Who's with me? And what movies catch your interest? Or are you still confused about the technology...?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

CassaFire Cover and Synopsis!

I am guest posting today at Little Pickle Press about my geeky childhood science fiction experiences.

Bur first! I just received this yesterday from my publisher and I am so stoked.

After dozens of rewrites, help from Rusty (thanks, dude!), and my publisher’s editor making more changes, here is the working synopsis for CassaFire:

CassaStar was only the beginning…

The Vindicarn War is a distant memory and Byron’s days of piloting Cosbolt fighters are over. He has kept the promise he made to his fallen mentor and friend - to probe space on an exploration vessel. Shuttle work is dull, but it’s a free and solitary existence. The senior officer is content with his life aboard the Rennather.

The detection of alien ruins sends the exploration ship to the distant planet of Tgren. If their scientists can decipher the language, they can unlock the secrets of this device. Is it a key to the Tgren's civilization or a weapon of unimaginable power? Tensions mount as their new allies are suspicious of the Cassan's technology and strange mental abilities.

To complicate matters, the Tgrens are showing signs of mental powers themselves, the strongest of which belongs to a pilot named Athee, a woman whose skills rival Byron’s unique abilities. Forced to train her mind and further develop her flying aptitude, he finds his patience strained. Add a reluctant friendship with a young scientist, and he feels invaded on every level. All Byron wanted was his privacy…

And the working cover art:

Hot Tamales for everyone!

What do you guys think?

Okay, now you can go visit Little Pickle Press for my guest post…

Monday, July 25, 2011

Captain America, Comic Con, and More!

Thanks again to Karen Walker for amusing the Army last week with her guest post – and for your awesome comments!

With temperatures around a hundred degrees, it was a good excuse to go hide in a cool movie theater for a couple hours. And I’m glad I did!

Captain America

This film was a lot of fun and one of the best times I’ve had in the theater all year. The story flowed well with solid action scenes, and the WWII setting gave it an old-school vibe. There is a certain innocence to the film, due in part to the time period and the main character. It sets up next summer’s Avengers movie, but it also stands well on its own.

The cast was great. Chris Evans really fit the role. (I’d also like to know how the CGI guys made him look so scrawny in the beginning.) Hugo Weaving did his usual great job as Red Skull and Tommy Lee Jones had some of the best lines. Howard Stark’s character is in the film, and the storyline centers around a magical cube from Thor’s world – again, setting things up for the Avengers movie.

Marvel keeps hitting them out of the park – Captain America is a great movie. Next summer’s Avengers promises to be huge!

Comic Con was this past week in San Diego and all sorts of interesting news, videos, and images were released. (Did you know they are making a Jurassic Park IV? And that Spielberg is involved?) For the best coverage, visit G4TV’s site.

Did you see Captain America? Any Comic Con news catch your attention? Did you melt in the summer heat? (And if so, can I have your Hot Tamales?) Oh, and I'll announce my next big blogfest in August. Care to make any guesses?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Ten Ways to Keep Sane While Writing

Today, Karen Walker from Following the Whispers is going to amuse you!

Her book, Following the Whispers, came out as an eBook recently and I downloaded my copy last week. I confess, I’ve never really read a memoir before, but so far hers is really powerful! This is her final tour stop, so please show Karen how much the Ninja Army rocks!

Karen would like to share with you 10 Ways to Keep Sane While Writing

Alex, thank you so much for hosting me on this, the 10th and last stop on my book blog tour. I appreciate all you do for other writers. Here are 10 ways to keep sane while writing:

1. Even if you feel like it, don’t pull your hair out during revisions. You will need it while waiting for responses to your query letters.
2. Keep a journal of your feelings as you write, re-write, query and wait. Your family and friends will be forever grateful that you have another outlet for your whining and crying.
3. Even if you think you are finished, remember either a critique partner or an agent or an editor will most likely find more revisions, so don’t throw away the valium just yet.
4. Did I say valium? I don’t drink or take drugs, so I stay sane by stuffing my face. Oops, no, I don’t do that anymore either. Sheesh, I’ve run out of addictions to keep me sane.
5. Do take mini breaks throughout the day. Not kidding here, folks. Mini-breaks really do preserve sanity and help creativity and energy flow.
6. Honor your distractions: TV, blogging, computer games, doing laundry, defrosting the refrigerator, whatever will keep you from pulling out your hair because you want to listen to #1 above.
7. No matter what anyone tells you, Spider Solitaire is not an addiction. It will keep you sane. I promise.
8. Listen to your inner voice, but make sure it’s the wise one, not the one that screams at you, “Who do you think you are that you believe you can write?”
9. The way you know which voice to pay attention to is your insides feel calm when one is speaking and they usually churn upside down when the other shouts.
10. All kidding aside, get yourself a good, solid support system--this online community is great for that. Sharing with others is the best way to keep sane.

Visit Karen at Following the Whispers

Any other suggestions for keeping sane? I vote Hot Tamales and lots of them!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Retro Summer - Time to Scare Everyone!

Today is Ramblings of Amy’s Retro Summer Blogfest! Here’s the scoop:
Find an old mixed audio you haven’t listened to in a while and post the following:
- Write down all the tracks: Artists and song title.
- Write what they mean to you and why you like it.

Now, here comes the amusing part I promised on Monday. As I tried to explain to my wife, guys don’t normally like songs because they ‘mean’ something – we just think they’re cool. Now, my version of cool might send you running. So, to the best of my ability, I described why I think the songs are cool.

Massive Metal Mix” (I know some of you are running right now!)
1 – Static X – Wisconsin Death Trip – Brutal & aggressive, great groove, and Wayne Static’s quirky voice. Yeah, don’t you wish your last name was Static?
2 – Pantera – Where You Come From – Ultimate in heavy. Any excuse to listen to Dimebag Daryl shred!
3 – Def Tones – My Own Summer (Shove It) - Maybe the coolest opening riff ever. I want this song to play when I enter rooms.
4 – Jimmie’s Chicken Shack – High – Cool riffs. (However, I do not condone drug use in any shape, form, or fashion, wicked cool song or not.)
5 – Chevelle – Mia – My first introduction to this band. I found it by accident, proving accidents can be good!
6 – Powerman 5000 – When Worlds Collide – Ultimate science fiction geek metal! Got to dig a lead singer named Spider. (He’s also Rob Zombie’s brother.)
7 – Soundgarden – Room a Thousand Years Wide – All right, THIS should be the song that plays when I enter a room, just to make people nervous…
8 – Rob Zombie – Dragula – Hey, Spider’s brother! Now we have horror geek metal covered.
9 – Anthrax – Harm’s Way – How can you not dig a song that starts “Here comes the biggest a__h___ the whole world has ever seen?”
10 – Helmet – It’s Easy to Get Bored – I once got my car up to a hundred mph while listening to this song!

Now, for those of you brave enough to reach this point, does anyone even know who those bands are????

Aleta at Fleur de Aleta hosts the ABC of Your State weekly blogfest. Today is “C.” So, out of everything in the Carolinas, I offer you – Charleston, SC! This historical Colonial city boasts a cool downtown with market, Patriot’s Point Navel & Maritime Museum, Fort Sumter, plantations & tours, ghost tours, SC Aquarium, and more! For those of you who write period pieces or horror stories, if you’re not inspired by Charleston… Well, I don’t know what to do with you then!

Been to Charleston? Is there a cool place near your home? Still wondering who the hell are those bands?

Monday, July 18, 2011

Potter Review and Upcoming Blogfests

Now that I’ve seen the entire film, I can finally review it!

Before we get to the review though… (Hey, you waited this long for the final movie, didn’t you?)

Amy at Ramblings of Amy is hosting the Retro Summer Blogfest this Wednesday, July 20. We’re to select an old mix tape or CD and talk about the songs. I intend to amuse you on Wednesday!

Aleta at Fleur de Aleta started the ABC of Your State weekly blogfest. Every Wednesday, post something special about your state that coincides with that week’s letter. This Wednesday it’s “C.” I won’t get to participate every week, but I will have something this Wednesday. Really!

And while remakes annoy me, I am excited about the remake of Godzilla. The screenwriter is David Goyer (Nolan’s Dark Knight movies) and the director is Gareth Edwards, creator/director/editor/special effects guy of Monsters. Do it right guys, and the film will rock!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I caught Part II last Friday and can safely say - it’s the best of the series. The pacing is good and at times the film is thrilling. This one is full of action! The storyline is easy to follow, even for those of us who haven’t read the books. It wraps up the franchise in good form, tying up the loose ends and finally putting an end to Voldemort. Harry finally gets to grow up and show he can kick some butt. (I still don’t buy the relationship between Harry and Ginny, though - zero chemistry between the characters.) Overall, an excellent film and one of the best of the summer.

And I waited to share my thoughts on Part I until after seeing Part II. They are night and day. Part I was slow, plodding, and very frustrating. The storyline was unclear and our great wizard hero spends the whole time running. And hiding in the woods. And talking. More running. More talking in the woods… I’m afraid I found it rather boring. Longer than Part II, the first one would’ve benefited from the shaving of at least thirty to forty-five minutes from the film.

At some point, I do plan to watch the two as a whole. Of course, I’ve been planning an extended edition Lord of the Rings marathon for years, so not sure when that may happen!

All right, Potter fanatics – your turn! What did you think of the movie?

Friday, July 15, 2011

Rejections and You Rock!

Special treat today! But first, don’t forget a certain wizard movie comes out today. You didn’t forget, did you?

And special thanks to Budd at SciFi Media for the surprise review of CassaStar!

The Fantastic Friday Writers topic today is handling rejections. Fun for all!

Nobody likes rejections, but they happen to everyone. I think it’s easier when you don’t place your life’s value on acceptance. Earlier this week, Karen Walker had a guest post on expectations, and it really resonated with me. I didn’t have high expectations. Writing a book wasn’t the only thing I wanted to do with my life, either. So, those initial rejections didn’t kill me. I decided if it wasn’t going to happen, I would be all right. (Thus, I was really surprised when it did happen!)

Check with my FFW partners Elizabeth, Anastasia, J. D., Deirdre, M. Pax, and Jeffrey for their take on handling rejections.

I created the You Rock! Award last year to honor some very special blogging buddies who’ve made my life awesome. Of course, everyone who reads this blog is awesome! (Even if you’re just humoring me.)

This year, I’m giving it to five more bloggers who rock…

Jeffrey at World of the Scribe
We can’t do this alone, and Jeffrey has been one of my biggest supporters. His words of encouragement and assistance appear when I need it the most. I can always count on him. And I’m ready for his series to be unleashed on the world. Jeffrey, you rock!

Gail at Familiar Spirits
She’s my blog sparring partner – we try to out-snark each other. But she has a sweet spirit and a kind heart. I was so honored when she read my book, although I’m sure she questioned that purchase at first. Thank you, Gail – you rock!

Rusty at The Blutonian Death Egg
This dude needs to realize he rocks! Rusty is an awesome blend of ideas, humor, and encouragement. I had the honor of helping him with last minute edits when a publisher requested his full manuscript – he thinks it was a sacrifice, but his story is awesome. Rusty, you rock!

Chuck at Apocalypse Now
He’s genuine – a rare trait these days. Dedicated to his blog, followers, and friends, I can always count on Chuck for a boost and a laugh. His blog has really morphed and grown over the past year, and it’s been cool to watch. I want the best for you, Chuck – you rock!

George at CineMarvellous!
He reminded me earlier this week about the real meaning of friendship – we stick by one another no matter what. We’re a kindred spirit when it comes to movies and it sucks that he lives on the other side of the world. Appreciate the friendship and support, George – you rock!

You guys pass this on to a friend or two who rock your world.

Now, any thoughts on rejection? Friendship? A certain wizard movie perhaps?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

"We Want You to Make a Few Changes..."

Have you ever worried that a publisher might want some radical changes in your manuscript? Heard some horror stories? Patricia, better known as author p.m.terrell, has a wild story for you!

I reached for the familiar SASE in my mailbox, eager to see what new and unique way my book would be rejected. Two years had passed since completing my suspense/thriller and I’d racked up enough rejection slips to wallpaper my office.

I’d written the book while still performing contract work for a trucking company. I was younger then and I discovered my blond hair, blue eyes and tendency to look like an airhead helped me tremendously—they never suspected I was an FBI informant. The book was a dramatized version of the trucking kickback scheme, imaginatively titled Kickback.

As I approached the house, I read the letter. This publisher was not rejecting Kickback, as 3,857 had before them. They were accepting it—if I changed the storyline and made Sheila, the main character, a lesbian.

Now, I have to admit, I gave this some serious thought. After all, this could be my Big Break.

I mulled it over. The handsome man, Matt, would no longer be necessary. The suspicious coworker, Pam, would be Sheila’s love interest. The bedroom scenes with Matt would become… the bedroom scenes with Pam.

Now, I have to admit, I was in virgin territory.

So I did what any self-respecting, budding author would do. I rented a movie.

My Two Loves starred Lynn Redgrave as a lesbian falling in love with Mariette Hartley. Each time they were together, she looked at her co-worker with the same expression my husband uses when he’s grilling a steak. Hhmm, I thought. To write these sex scenes, I could just envision Sheila’s coworker as a pork chop.

I wondered what my father, an ultra-conservative, ex-FBI agent, would think of this. In my mind’s eye, I quickly realized I didn’t want to go there.

So I thought of my granddaughter, who was approaching puberty. What would she think, lying in bed at night, reading Grandma’s book, and stumbling onto lesbian sex?

I asked my husband what he thought about it. He was fine with it—as long as he could envision Halle Berry and Charlize Theron.

In the end, I wrote the publishers. In part, my letter read, “They say to write what you know. I don’t know anything about lesbian love. And at this stage in my life, I’m not inclined to do the research.”

p.m.terrell’s debut suspense/thriller, Kickback, was published in 2002. Since then, she’s become the internationally acclaimed, award-winning author of 12 books, including 5 suspense/thrillers and 2 historical suspense/adventures. You can read more about her at her website and blog.

Can any of you top that one?

Monday, July 11, 2011

Casting a Darkspell

Thanks again to Melissa for Friday’s post on books to movies – she really churned up the discussion. And don’t forget – season premier of Eureka and Warehouse 13, and series premier of Alphas on the SyFy Channel. I know where I’ll be for three hours…

But today it’s all about Elizabeth Mueller! One of my Fantastic Friday Writers buddies. she can best be described as joyful, spiritually grounded, generous, and just so beautiful. Her very first book, Darkspell, comes out this fall from TreasureLine Books. And I know it will rock because the hero’s name is Alex!

Enough Ninja chatter – here’s Elizabeth:

So, which came first? My children, or my writing?

I’m a stay-at-home mom with four lively kids. There’s never a boring second. The house unravels the time they awaken—it’s nonstop fighting, whining, and messing. Aside from the headaches, I’ve learned so much from them. Patience, joy, love, and lots of humility.

So, what about my writing?

It has always been a part of my life. It was easy enough before kids, but when they started pouring in, I had to create time. I wrote right after I tucked them in, and pushed late into the mornings. I’ve actually completed 8 books of squeezing time!

Just 4 years ago, I decided to take my writing a step further. Publishing! I attended writers conferences, learned the rules, joined critique groups, critiqued for others, query writing and submitting. Needless to say, I’ve felt the sting of rejections. Ouch!

Guess what? It was not until late March of this year that I decided to take another chance and submit one of my novels.

Darkspell was accepted by TreasureLine Books! I was SO not expecting my book to be picked up. After 20 years of writing, I’ve finally reached my aspirations! So much to the point that I didn’t know what to do, like the car-chasing dog that has finally caught one.

About my book: Winter Sky believes she is everything ordinary . . . until she is kissed by Alex Stormhold. As seer of Stormhold Coven, Alex is sworn to be Winter’s protector against the darkness that hunts her. Violently thrust into a magical realm she always thought impossible, she stumbles upon a disturbing secret of her own.

Darkspell is a YA Paranormal Romance, coming fall of 2011!

I wrote this book before I met Alex Cavanaugh—the names are purely coincidental.

Hey, Alex, thank you SO much for having me over, it was fun visiting your blog! (As always…)

Please drop by and say hi! You can find me over at my blog. Check on my bookly updates on my website. (An visiting MS Hatch at Unicorn Bell on July 12.)

Please join me in my celebration for Darkspell’s fall release all July long! A pre-booklaunch party if you will. Click HERE for details.

What is your writing journey like?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Movie-Addicted Writers Unite!

I have something awesome planned for you today! But first, thanks to everyone for your awesome comments regarding my next book. I was really overwhelmed!

Now I know you often wonder “Why does this writer blather on about movies all the time?” There is a connection! And to prove it, I have invited the awesome Melissa Bradley from Melissa’s Imaginarium to share her thoughts on the matter. Get ‘em, Melissa!

Books and Their Movie Counterparts: The Good, The Bad and The What Have They Done

Books and movies are two of my favorite things. I became a writer partly because of films that inspired me. They are integral part of our culture and let’s face it, when they do bring a novel to the big screen, it makes the writer me go “Yes!” There are some really great films born of novels. The Godfather, Gone With The Wind, To Kill A Mockingbird, Precious and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

On the other hand, there are instances of books into film that give me nightmares. These are the films that seem to have taken the novel source material, chucked it and merely used the name. They leave you scratching your head and wanting your money back. The director maniacally twists and turns the plot and the characters in his own image until it is almost unrecognizable from the book. Random Hearts comes to mind. They eliminated half the plot, changed the careers of the two leads and altered the very incident that brought them together. I wonder why they even bothered saying it was based on the novel? Legal action probably. And with novels from long dead authors it’s even worse. The last incarnation of Pride and Prejudice replaced Mr. Darcy with Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights and turned Elizabeth into a raging brat while giving her dialogue from other characters. I sat through both of these films going “What have they done?”

I tell you, sometimes what Hollywood does to a novel is beyond me. And it goes beyond the film treatment, it even permeates the very promotion of the movie itself. Remember back in the 90’s when Wynona Ryder and Susan Sarandon starred in Little Women? Some marketing genius got it into their head that Louisa May Alcott’s novel wasn’t good enough. So on book shelves everywhere appeared Little Women, the novelization of the screenplay based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott. WTF? Are you kidding me? They apparently thought that reading the actual novel would either not be cool or that we were too dumb to read the original.

As a writer and fan of movies, I dream of having my novel someday turned into a screenplay, but some of this stuff gives me nightmares. I can imagine them taking my werewolf and turning her into a vampire then making her a man.

Thanks, Melissa! (And crap, wouldn't that be scary?) Check out her really cool site, Melissa’s Imaginarium.

Now, who’s ready for a movie?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My Second Book is a Go!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got the word on Friday but refrained from announcing the news via a celebratory Twitter meltdown. Everyone was on vacation this weekend anyway – my spastic yells of excitement would’ve gone unheard.

As you recall, I had no idea what to call the sequel to CassaStar. Fortunately, my publisher is sharper than me and made some suggestions. At the moment, my manuscript has been dubbed:


I like that!

I’m to work on my back cover synopsis and resubmit it. (Translation – “Lame! Try again.”)

Release date will be sometime next March.

BIG thanks to my critique buddies ( Rusty, Jeffrey, and Anne ) and test readers for helping me with the manuscript.

And BIG thanks to those of you who read CassaStar and requested a sequel! I never imagined more than one book (never even thought there would be that one book) and continuing Byron’s adventure while addressing everyone’s concerns and questions (why the heck are there no women in this book?) was a challenge. But you prodded me to write another story and I thank you for the encouragement. (Some of you shoved and a couple even kicked, but that’s cool – I needed it!)

The news couldn’t have come on a better weekend – I just pretended all the celebrations and fireworks were for me. Now I can finally have my celebratory freak out online. Followed by freak out of what the hell am I going to write next…?

Friday, July 1, 2011

Transformers III, FFW, and Swamp Shark - a Play-By-Play!

Ninja party today!

Elizabeth Mueller has a HUGE contest/giveaway for the release of her new novel, Darkspell. There are some cool prizes, including a gargoyle, so check it out. She’s also making a guest appearance here on July 11.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Giant fighting robots! Lots of action! Special effects! Chicago in ruins! (Sorry, Michael.) And if you’re expecting anything more from the third film from Michael Bay based on a toy line, forget it. Wasn’t perfect – editing seemed rushed – but better than the second film. And in 3D – whoa! Leave brain at door and prepare for eye candy.

Fantastic Friday Writers - The Science in Science Fiction

I’m not tech or science heavy in my writing. (You want some science tips, visit Stephen Tremp.) But it does all have to make sense, even if you’re messing with physics. And it needs consistency. My greatest challenge was with the teleporters found on the Cassan’s ships. It’s almost a symbiotic relationship between the mechanical device that powers the jump and the Cassan’s mental ability to fold space. Once I had the logistics figured out, I had to adhere to the rules I’d created. (Which meant the final battle scene went through many rewrites as I tried to figure out how to make it all work!)

Check with my FFW partners Elizabeth, Anastasia, J. D., Deirdre, M. Pax, and Jeffrey for a take on science that actually makes sense!

And now – Swamp Shark – a play-by-play!

Entertainment Weekly gave this cinematic suppository an F+. My expectations are not quite that high.

9:00 - When the producer of the film is named Badish, it pretty much sets the tone.

9:02 - Drunken revelers starting off a movie about a rogue shark. Now where have I seen that before?

9:10 - I'm literally watching D.B. Sweeney and Kristy Swanson destroy their careers (sad.)

9:12 - This movie was either edited by seven monkeys with scissors or Freddie Krueger and Edward Scissorhands.

9:14 - Just to make sure they have every movie stereotype in place, they now introduce the moronic, hard-partying frat boy.

9:16 - Impatiently waiting for the loveable drunk to get eaten.

9:17 - Does this mean the shark is now drunk or is it more like eating half a rum cake?

9:42 - Apparently, there is an app for hunting a rogue shark with gator radio beacons lodged in its stomach. Apple rocks!

10:18 - D.B. Sweeney takes Kristy Swanson to see chewed up corpses in the morgue - now that's what I call a first date. (Eat your heart out ladies!)

10:22 - Idiotic frat boy finally gets eaten - and there was much rejoicing.

That's all I can take folks, I can't watch anymore. However, I assume the shark ends up eating the entire state of Louisiana, gets bad indigestion from a funky batch of gumbo, and explodes.

Now where’s my Hot Tamales???

And to my American friends, have a great Fourth of July!