Friday, July 15, 2011

Rejections and You Rock!

Special treat today! But first, don’t forget a certain wizard movie comes out today. You didn’t forget, did you?

And special thanks to Budd at SciFi Media for the surprise review of CassaStar!

The Fantastic Friday Writers topic today is handling rejections. Fun for all!

Nobody likes rejections, but they happen to everyone. I think it’s easier when you don’t place your life’s value on acceptance. Earlier this week, Karen Walker had a guest post on expectations, and it really resonated with me. I didn’t have high expectations. Writing a book wasn’t the only thing I wanted to do with my life, either. So, those initial rejections didn’t kill me. I decided if it wasn’t going to happen, I would be all right. (Thus, I was really surprised when it did happen!)

Check with my FFW partners Elizabeth, Anastasia, J. D., Deirdre, M. Pax, and Jeffrey for their take on handling rejections.

I created the You Rock! Award last year to honor some very special blogging buddies who’ve made my life awesome. Of course, everyone who reads this blog is awesome! (Even if you’re just humoring me.)

This year, I’m giving it to five more bloggers who rock…

Jeffrey at World of the Scribe
We can’t do this alone, and Jeffrey has been one of my biggest supporters. His words of encouragement and assistance appear when I need it the most. I can always count on him. And I’m ready for his series to be unleashed on the world. Jeffrey, you rock!

Gail at Familiar Spirits
She’s my blog sparring partner – we try to out-snark each other. But she has a sweet spirit and a kind heart. I was so honored when she read my book, although I’m sure she questioned that purchase at first. Thank you, Gail – you rock!

Rusty at The Blutonian Death Egg
This dude needs to realize he rocks! Rusty is an awesome blend of ideas, humor, and encouragement. I had the honor of helping him with last minute edits when a publisher requested his full manuscript – he thinks it was a sacrifice, but his story is awesome. Rusty, you rock!

Chuck at Apocalypse Now
He’s genuine – a rare trait these days. Dedicated to his blog, followers, and friends, I can always count on Chuck for a boost and a laugh. His blog has really morphed and grown over the past year, and it’s been cool to watch. I want the best for you, Chuck – you rock!

George at CineMarvellous!
He reminded me earlier this week about the real meaning of friendship – we stick by one another no matter what. We’re a kindred spirit when it comes to movies and it sucks that he lives on the other side of the world. Appreciate the friendship and support, George – you rock!

You guys pass this on to a friend or two who rock your world.

Now, any thoughts on rejection? Friendship? A certain wizard movie perhaps?


Unknown said...

New out yesterday in Norway. Congrats to the rockers :)

Huntress said...

Congrats to the Rockers, a follow-worthy bunch no doubt!

Wizard movie?? Oh, wow. Hm. Gee, I wonder what that's about.
(sounds like a Oscar in the making, btw)
I'm seeing it next week after the crowds thin slightly. Don't tell me the ending :P

Rosalind Adam said...

I'm still musing over my this week's rejection that said my children's picture book had charm but... *sigh*

Ah, so it's out this week, is it. That explains all the JKR hype. Yes, yes, I know how many times she was rejected but... *sigh*

Good to see some rocking bloggers mentioned. I'll pop over and visit.


A wonderful post Alex, rejection albiet writing or personal is not a nice thing. recently I have come to know rejection first hand but acceptance in life also pay a great part. Without acceptance life can't go on smoothly, I had to accept the deaths of my mother and husband within 2 months, until I could accept life was just put on "Hold" Now I have had to accept my son don't want me in his life, that I can accept but not the loss of my grandchildren.
Congrats to the award winners well deserved.
Have a lovely week-end.

Mary@GigglesandGuns said...

Those are some great folks on your award list. Way to go everyone!
Rejection is like a shot from a clumsy nurse. It hurts a minute and goes away.
Friends are the greatest!
Today is Potter Day with my granddaughter. We've done them all together and become great friends over the years.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Huntress, mum's the word!

Rosalind, that means you just keep trying.

Yvonne, acceptance gives us peace.

Mary, you are so right. Unless one passes out and hits head. That might sting a little longer.

Enid Wilson said...

It's much easier to take rejection via email. I just filed them in one folder and forget about them.

Chemical Fusion

Andrew said...

I am checking out each and every one of these blogs....
"You rock!" -- That's an expression I used often.

Old Kitty said...

If there weren't any rejections, there wouldn't be hard work and determination and the passion to succeed.

Me, I just have cold showers.


I made the mistake of seeing last year's HP when it came out and was just horrified by how crowded everything felt (and sorry but that film was not one of my faves, nor the one before that!!!) So this time - I'll bide my time and watch the other artsy farsty ones coming out today instead. There's one called Cell 211 - a kind of Prison Break made in Spain but better! LOL!

Take care

Old Kitty said...

p.s. YAY to all those who ROCK your world, Capn Alex!!!


Li said...

I've found the blogging community to be wonderfully warm, supportive, and engaging. I consider many to be friends in a very real sense - I may not be able to see them or hear them, and yet they are there to talk and to share.
As for rejections, I'm one of those people who pretty much expects things to be rejected, so it doesn't bother me. And then I'm shockingly happy when something is accepted!
I'm looking forward to seeing HP, but I think I'll wait until the excitement dies down (and the theatre lines shorten).
Have a good weekend, Alex :))

Suze said...

I love your 'pumped-upedness!' It's like every time you visit this blog, something is rocking. Even if it's something as sucky as rejection!

Good times, A. :)

Gail said...

Thanks! I am speechless...I shall have to let the animals speak for me!

Wow, a blog sparring partner of a famous, that is a true honor.

About the book, Alex, I accidentally bought two! I had one on my wish list and when I decided to order, I got two. Guess that makes me a double fan!

Thank you for the great honor. It's like you have challenged me to a duel, now I shall have to be extra cunning to get one over on you!

Christine Rains said...

It's great you have such rockin' friends! I've gotten better at handling rejections. Some are harder than others, but you learn from them, pick yourself up, and carry on.

I really want to go see the wizard movie, but all my friends are busy and I can't get a babysitter. Drat. I guess I'll have to stay home and watch the DVD of Dahmer vs. Gacy.

The Happy Whisk said...

It's nice that you made that award. Tim has a Newbie Award that he gives to gamers who have been blogging for six months or under.

Really fun way to spotlight blogs.

Have a great weekend :-)

Jeremy [Retro] said...

rock and roll, congrats to the rockers... i cannot handle rejection anymore... one more and i will jump of that blog bridge or my zombie army will come to your house and swim in your pool.

happy day,

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Alex, thanks for this wonderful award! It means a lot! I'm extremely glad to have you as a friend, and yes, it sucks that I live overseas. I do hope we'll meet one day though, so we'd be able to discuss movies for hours. Congrats on the other rockers. I'm sure they're lovely people and deserve this awesome award 100%. I'll put the banner on my blog right away ;)

You're a great friend indeed!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Congrats to the award recipients.
They say rejection is the spice of life, but I prefer paprika.

Carol Kilgore said...

I'm thinking you're off to see that certain Wizard Movie this weekend :)

Aleta said...

This is one of the reasons I love the bloggy world.. so much support and respect.

I have a great deal of admiration for writers. Your book is your creation and to offer it to someone to reject is not an easy thing.

Ohhh, I want to see the movie this weekend, but *sigh* looks like that will have to be put on hold. Life happens Lol

Luanne G. Smith said...

What is this wizard movie you speak of? Have heard nothing about it. :P

Congrats to those blogger friends who ROCK!!

Unknown said...

Rejection really sucks, but I love how you handle it.

George really does rock and I'll be checking out these others, too. You rock for all the support you give to all your fellow blogging friends and the community at large.

Matthew MacNish said...

Rejection is like a badge of honor for me. After all, if you're not getting rejected, you're not putting your work out there, and what was it Wayne Gretzky said about the shots you don't take?

Michael Di Gesu said...

Congrats Rockers....

Hey, Alex....

Thanks for the nice comments on blog this week. It meant a lot.

The final was just posted. HP is an obsession. It will be bittersweet when I see the movie later today.

As for rejections.... Well .... We all have to remember writing is subjective. They are part of writer's world AND we can not let them get us down, because if we did, we'd have NOTHING to read.... LOL.

Have a great weekend Alex.

Sarah Ahiers said...

i agree. I mean, rejections suck, but you just gotta make sure it's not like your whole purpose of living. Then they're a lot easier

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Kitty, the last Harry Potter wasn't a favorite of mine, either. And I'm going to an earlier show today, so hopefully it's less crowded.

Li, there's some awesome people here.

Thanks, Suze! Hey, there's enough negative in the world already.

Gail, you are welcome! Sorry you got two books. Maybe one can be a gift? And I accept your challenge.

Jeremy, the latter would be cool.

George, you are most welcome. One day, my friend!

Aleta, it's not easy.

Melissa, I try! So many have given to me.

Michael, an obsession? Never would've guessed.

Karen, you're welcome!

Jemi Fraser said...

I don't know some of these rockers - I'm going to check them out later today :)

This world of online writers/blogger/friends is truly amazing. I've learned SO much and come to know so many awesome people I find it overwhelming sometimes!

Donna K. Weaver said...

Great attitude, Alex. I hang onto thoughts like yours as I decide if I've got the guts to query and then be rejected. As you say, it's inevitable.

As for that wizard movie, I saw it yesterday afternoon. Loved it. So have to see it again now, in 3D this time.

Tonja said...

I think any rejection is still a win since that means you finished your story and had the strength to send it out.

As for HP, I was at the bookstore's coffee shop last night having a writing critique meeting with a friend when a parade of HPs and Hermiones came in. I felt bad for the kids that only had a lightning bolt sharpied on their heads.

Bish Denham said...

I'd much rather have a flat rejection than no response. Never hearing anything makes me a little crazy. Did they get my query/story or not? Should I send it again or not? GAK!

Wizard movie? What wizard movie? I haven't heard anything about a wizard movie. :)

Laila Knight said...

"...don’t place your life’s value on acceptance." That is awesome advice. It can be painful to live pining for your expectations. I write because I love it. It brings me pleasure to create my unusual worlds. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be thrilled to my toes to share my stories, but I'll be darned if I'm going to give someone that much power over me. Thanks for the peek at other great bloggers I can visit. I already follow Rusty. I'm looking forward to watching HP in 3D but not sure about this weekend. Might wait for you to post a review. :)

Charles Gramlich said...

I will definitely see the new Potter, though probably not till it hits the libraries, where my wife checks 'em out for me for free.

Sarah McCabe said...

I think that the key is to stop placing so much value on what an Editor says. Editors are just readers who happen to work for a publisher. If one rejects you, it's usually just because they didn't personally enjoy it. But if you've written a good book there will be an Editor who will enjoy it and want to take the risk in publishing it. You just have to find them.

Rusty Carl said...

Wow. I'm thrilled! Thanks Alex. I have never gotten comfortable with rejection though. Don't think I ever will.

Besides who can reject some who now has tangible proof that they rock? I'll be putting the award if future query letters.

Thanks again

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Jemi, it is amazing.

Donna, you can do it!

Tonja, that must've been quite a sight.

Laila, that's the spirit!

Sarah, the search is on!

Rusty, display it proudly - you rock, dude!

Bkloss said...

As far as I'm concerned, "rejection" is a four letter word :D

I love butterbeer.

TS Hendrik said...

Wizard movie? What wizard movie is that? Oh right! That wizard movie... haha

J. D. Brown said...

Alex, I just had to laugh. My boyfriend's been bugging me to see harry potter with him since yesterday. And it's not that I don't want to go, just money is tight right now.

Agree about rejection letters. I too had low expectations that were exceeded. Maybe that's the key to this business? Aim high, expect nothing. LOL.

M Pax said...

Looking forward to the wizard.

Rejection is part of life. I think we should be proud of it. :)

Yay, to those 5.

Elizabeth Mueller said...

Congrats on the awards, guys! Of course I knew you created that award, Alex. I think the guitar gave that away. ;)

Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?
YA Paranormal Romance, Darkspell coming fall of 2011!
Pre-order your copy now!

Amy said...

Great review of Cassastar Alex; congrats! :)

I'm so looking forward to seeing the Harry Potter movie this weekend. Going to enjoy every 3D minute of it!

Have a great weekend! :p

Anonymous said...

Ummm ... what was the question again? I'm still thinking about Charlize Theron and Halle Berry.

Arlee Bird said...

Life is full of rejections and that's what keeps things in proper perspective. If we never got any rejections our heads would no longer fit through doorways.

Tossing It Out

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Barbara, it is!

JD, as the band Yes says, "Shoot High, Aim Low."

Elizabeth, did it?

Thanks, Amy!

Concentration problems Stephen?

Lee, which means we'd be stuck in one room - no fun.

Nancy Thompson said...

Ugh, rejection is hard. No matter how much our friends and supporters remind us that it's not personal, it's difficult to see and accept that.

What I've found is that every rejection has made me tougher, more resilient. It doesn't mean I will be giving up any time soon.

This business is so subjective and I've had enough people tell me that my story is worth the fight, worth being published.

Summer Ross said...

I plan to take my oldest to it, but not opening night- too many people. I'll wait for the hype to die down a bit then go see HP. rejection- the surest form I know of to tell me I'm doing what I want. :) Have a great day

Bryan Russell said...

You mean Parry Hotter and the Healthy Fellows? Good dude, that Parry.

Lydia Kang said...

I'm all over the place with R's. sometimes I take them really well; othertimes not. It's such an emotional rollercoaster.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Nancy, then keep fighting!

Lydia, it is only a matter of time for you.

I'm off soon to see the movie!

Ella said...

My son was off to see the Wizard at midnight...4 1/2 hrs long and had to be to work at 9:30am. It hurts to go see the wizard for some. He said, "It was great"...he won't be using that word again today.

Nice post...I will have to check these out. We are on a roller coaster ride, whether we like them or not. The ups n' downs...but it goes with that creative gene! :D Happy Friday to you~

RaShelle Workman said...

Alex - Great truths. Rejections are a part of the writing process. It's something we must deal with. Don't love it, but it won't kill me. LOL

Some great peeps you passed the YOU ROCK award onto.

Also, YOU ROCK!! Bigtime!!! =D

Christopher Hudson said...

Individual rejections never got to me ... but I wilted under the sheer weight of 'em. I came to the conclusion that I'd have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a agent and/or publisher ... so I quit. Yes, I am a quitter ... but I did self-publishing my book ... so I got the last laugh ... and now my family is threatening to put a net over me, because I sit in my office laughing all day ... all alone.

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

More blogs for me to check out! :)

Rejections suck. I think the best way to handle them is to have them make us even *more* determined to meet our goals.

Tyrean Martinson said...

Rejection - just have to write through it, over it, under it, whatever it takes. Friendship rocks! Wizard Movie - have tickets for my family for the 4p.m. Pacific time show!
BTW - Alex - I love the way you encourage and support your fellow writers and bloggers. I think it's really cool when you have guests, post links, and just generally boost everyone's writing spirits. Thanks!

Kelly Polark said...

Hurray for those who ROCK! :)
I'm hoping to see a certain wizard movie sometime this weekend. I know I'm going to cry though!

Budd said...

no problem, anytime. Well I guess not anytime as you have to write books before I can review them and I can only review the ones I haven't already read. Ah, you know what I meant.

Karen Jones Gowen said...

Expectations are an interesting thing, and they can ruin my day sometimes. But rejection is part of the business. I've never heard of a published author who didn't have quite a few to their name.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Thanks, RaShelle. And remember, you were one of the first to ROCK!

Christopher, are they planning an intervention?

Tyrean, thank you - I appreciate that.

Budd, I know what you mean!

Empty Nest Insider said...

Congratulations to all the rockers! Though rejection is never easy, I think it helps when you're exposed to it at an early age. Julie

Jeff Beesler said...

Thank you so much for this, Alex. I must now work feverishly to return the favor somehow...

Ciara said...

Congrats to the rockers! I can't wait to see HP, but I'll have to wait another week. :(

Anonymous said...

Thanks for pointing me to all these awesome bloggers...and your post reminded me of the post I wrote on handling rejections, last week.

And thanks, as always, for finding the time to comment on my blog.

Abby Minard said...

Aw, so cool Alex! Those sound like great bloggers- I'll have to check them out. No rejections yet, but I haven't sent anything out to be rejected. Its always nice to hear everyone's story of rejection. Everyone that has tried seems to have one, so it helps those of us scared to put ourselves out there.

julie fedderson said...

Rejection builds character, right? Although sometimes I'd rather be a bit more two dimensional. But rejection is just a part of life, especially in creative fields. Not everyone can share your vision--because the haters are just damn dumb sometimes, lol. Go forth, write, and conquer!

Thanks for introducing some new fun blogs for me to stalk.

Rhonda @Laugh Quotes said...

I think you captured the best advice with "don’t place your life’s value on acceptance"

Tina said...

I love how supportive of other writers/bloggers you are! Thanks for spreading the love. I especially appreciated your comment over at Lee's this week.
Tina @ Life is Good

ali cross said...

Dude, what you said about Chuck? That's totally YOU. It's why I come to your blog and am such a fan--YOU are totally genuine and really care about all of us.

Thank you! You really do ROCK!!

Jules said...

Congrats to the new rockers! I prefer to call it "non-acceptance" rather than reject. Reminds me of "non-conformist" and that I like. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Empty Nest, a little conditioning?

Jeffrey, you already have, dude.

DAmy, I enjoy visiting your site.

Abby, just know it will happen, and that's all right. Part of the plan.

Julie - forward, march!

Tina, you're welcome.

Aw, Ali - thank you.

Jules, that fits you!

Talei said...

You ROCKSTAR. What a lovely award and congrats to all of the worthy recipients!

Ellie Garratt said...

Is there a new HP movie out or something? LOL.

Yes. Friendships are vital to writing success, and life in general.

Congrats to the rockers!

Ellie Garratt

Golden Eagle said...

Congratulations to the rockers!

I've never submitted any of my writing--so I don't really have much to say on rejection. Other than I hope I don't get rejected in the future. :P

A certain wizard movie? Um . . . what was it called again? Perry Hopper?

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Perry Hopper - Golden, that's good!

Helen Ginger said...

Rejection is tough. You have to pick yourself up and move forward. (That sounds a whole lot easier than it is.)

I have my tickets for the first HP showing tomorrow. I suspect I'll have to get there way early if I don't want to sit on the neck-bending front row.

Chuck said...

As usual I am late to the party! Busy-ass week at work so I didn't get to your blog until today.

Alex, thanks for the badass award! It is so freakin' cool looking...I take your kind words to heart as some days I really don't know what I'm doing. Thanks for always being a reader and commenter.

I will display and pass on this award to a couple people who share the love of blogging!

Thanks again and also for the CassFire Banner. I am working on a post for this weekend and it is going at the very top.

Anonymous said...

Rejections are hard to deal with, but with each one the hide gets tougher:) said...

Alex, you rock. Rejection doesn't.

I missed you and I'm glad to be back.
Sorry blogger/reader problems didn't magically resolved themselves. That's what I was hoping for.

John Teal said...

I think you deserve the award yourself Alex !!! Not sure how you find the time to encourage so many other bloggers but I for one appreciate it !

I don't often comment but I'm a regular reader !

PK HREZO said...

Awesome! I'm off to check out these rockin' bloggers!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Helen, good for you! You'll really enjoy the film.

Chuck, you are welcome, and thanks so much!! You do know what you're doing my friend.

Robyn, stupid Blogger! Glad you're back.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey RJR, I appreciate it anytime you stop by!

Powdered Toast Man said...

My award must be in the

Theresa Milstein said...

Rejection is part of the process. I hope it makes me a better writer.

Haven't seen the movie yet. Sad about that.

The Words Crafter said...

Congratulations to the Rockers! We are indeed fortunate to have people in our lives to help and guide us along the way. Kudos to you for giving yours shout-outs!

Saw HP-loved it!!!!!

helen tilston said...

Hello Alex

I just found your blog. We co-starred in Suze, Girl Wizard post of today. Looking forward to knowing more of your work
Helen Tilston

Unknown said...

I actually find humor in rejections ... although it's taken me a long time to get there. The many different ways to say "Thanks, but no thanks" range from rude to condescending, and it's kind of entertaining if you allow it to be.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Words, we really need those people, don't we?

Hey Helen! Glad to have you here.

KLo, and if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?

Jennie Bailey said...

LOVED Harry! Not ashamed to admit that I cried. Was it perfect? No. Kind of sad when there was more to the Ron/Hermoine kiss than the whole Jenny/Harry reunion but I'll let it slide.

Rejection stinks. But this business is so subjective that you have to shrug it off, lift yourself up...or surround yourself with people who will lift you back up and shove you back into the game!

Patricia Stoltey said...

Rejections. Gotta love 'em. You must know that whoever gets the most wins. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Jennie, sorry, no crying for me! But the Harry-Jenny relationship I just don't get.

Lynda R Young as Elle Cardy said...

rejection is part of being a writer. It's not fun, but we have to put our work out there if we want it published.

Shannon Lawrence said...

Ah, the wizard. I went to the drive-in last night and kept sneaking peeks over at it (we were seeing Winnie the Pooh and Cars 2 with the kiddos). Can't wait to see it, but want the crowds to be smaller.

As far as rejection, I prefer being rejected over being ignored. Maybe that frame of mind will change eventually. Ask me again when I start querying a novel.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Shannon. I'm sorry about Pooh! I'd rather be rejected than ignored as well.

Jo Schaffer said...

Went to the midnight show of HP. Even though I never read the books-- the last movie was pretty intense.

Carolina M. Valdez Schneider said...

Ah so true. ALthough you could argue that expectations are so closely linked with hope and desire. The more you want something, the harder it is not to expect it when you've worked so hard for it. Perhaps the key is to merely keep those expectations in check. Acknowledge the true difficulty of acquisition before setting out to acquire maybe...

It's after 4 AM. Sorry if that doesn't make sense.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Jo, it was!

Carolina, made sense to me, and it's only a little after ten right now.

Pat Tillett said...

I reject rejection! Congrats to those you awarded (with your cool original award). The only one I already know is Chuck, but I'll be sure to check out the others!