The Movie 411 Awards! I’m up for Best Sci-Fi Blog and Best Blog Post for The Worst Movies Ever Blogfest and I’m not above groveling. Need help with Best Post!!! Don’t forget to vote for my buddies Cinemarvellous! iZombie! Melissa’s Imaginarium and MsMariah’s Space Blog-yssey
A Peek at Karen’s World. Tied with Jennifer Hillier! Damn, I should’ve lost by a landslide. Jennifer is just so amazing. Thanks, Karen!
On a sad note, has anyone heard from Ellie Garrett? She was taking a short break to write, but Jeremy and I have both sent emails and she hasn’t responded!
Debutante Ball: Feast of Debut Authors continues with stops at Joseph Beekman December 16 and Pendragon Innmen December 17. Then on Monday, it’s my turn. Lots of cool things to win!
When DL announced the Déjà vu Blogfest, I knew instantly which post I wanted to select. My older followers will remember I’ve done play-by-plays of some of SyFy’s more craptastic movies, but none beat this cinematic marvel:
I give you - Sharktopus – A Play By Play. Enjoy!
My thoughts while watching Sharktopus, recorded by the minute.
3 min – The “ding” of the elevator sounds just like my microwave oven chime.
7 min – They didn’t waste any time with pesky details like plot or exposition.
10 min – Roger Corman must have pictures of Eric Roberts with a donkey or something.
13 min – Roberts isn’t even trying. I think he’s cold-reading the script from cue cards.
15 min – Hot woman on beach – the movie is getting better.
16 min – Oh wait, Sharktopus killed her. Movie sucks again.
19 min – Not so attractive woman goes bungee jumping. I’m okay with her dying.
30 min – Various shots of sun-soaked, bikini-clad hotties flashes across the screen. This should be the centerpiece of the film.
37 min – Sharktopus attacks sunbathers. The CGI is so bad I find myself growing nostalgic for a guy in a big rubber suit.
42 min – A man tells Roberts there’s something on TV he has to see. I’m pretty sure it’s not Sharktopus.
44 min – The lead actress’s voice keeps shifting from British to American. She must’ve studied at the Kevin Costner Robin Hood School of Acting.
51 min - Is there enough alcohol in the house to get through this movie?
62 min – Pretty sure Roberts is drunk. Lucky bastard.
64 min – They should rename “SyFy Saturday Night” to “SyFy Saturday Craptacular.”
73 min – The upside to being eaten by Sharktopus: you don’t have to sit through the rest of Sharktopus.
80 min – A pirate radio DJ mocks Sharktopus and is devoured. This is a life lesson, people!
83 min – Sharktopus just pantsed some guy. That was… awkward.
93 min – No really, Roberts is hammered. The guy was on a three-day bender shooting this film.
98 min – The movie just morphed into a Puerto Vallarta travelogue. Or a bad Bollywood film. Not sure which.
107 min – Roberts is killed by Sharktopus and there was much rejoicing.
110 min – Our hero now intends to run over Sharktopus with a minivan. Hope he’s insured.
122 min – Sharktopus is arrested on tax evasion charges. Movie over.
Now you don't have to waste two hours of your life! You can thank me later...
Visit Cruising Altitude for the list of participants.
Anyone else suffer through this craptastic film? Following the Debutante Ball: Feast of Debut Authors? Want to know what you can win here on Monday? Going to see Sherlock Holmes this weekend? Still wondering what the hell is a Sharktopus…?