For those of you who remember my Play-by-Play of Sharktopus, you are in for a treat!
We were unfortunate enough to have TWO Battle: LA movies this past weekend. I’m such a trooper, I decided to invest time into both flicks.
Critics came down hard on this film and I’m not sure why. It’s not ID4, but it was worth the price of a movie ticket. It follows a platoon of marines during an alien invasion as they try to rescue civilians caught behind enemy lines in LA. It’s not terribly original, but the special effects and storyline are good. The action is rapid fire, gritty, and realistic. However, this is nearly its downfall, as there are few breathing moments, and filmed in shaky-cam, it’s exhausting. One aspect I particularly enjoyed was its respect for our servicemen and women. They are portrayed as smart. well-trained, heroic people who will die to defend our country. It won’t stay with you for long, but it’s far better than Skyline, and certainly better than this next film…
Battle of Los Angeles
A SyFy original! You know what that means – it’s time for a play-by-play:
9:01 Yes folks, that’s none other than 80’s star, Nia Peeples!
9:03 No character development or anything - LA is immediately attacked by a Juice Master. I wonder if that’s a hint for me to go make a mixed drink.
9:04 I think the F-16 pilot is talking to OnStar
9:08 Apparently the military base outside of LA is in worse shape than a third world country.
9:11 Could they have at least cleared the weeds and slapped on a coat of paint? At this point, they’re not even trying…
9:13 Apparently our military consists of eight guys. And the actors are creating their own sound effects.
9:14 It’s an alien invasion AND a time travel film. Two craptastic movies in one.
9:20 Someone references not being caught with their pants down. If only this WERE a porn film…
9:30 Apparently LA consists of seven houses in the desert. Who knew?
9:35 Is that an alien or a Hoover upright?
9:41 It’s painfully obvious the SyFy channel hates us.
9:43 Special effects courtesy of Atari Defender. (The original of course.)
9:49 Nia Peeples – Space Ninja.
That’s all I can take! Captain Ninja Alex must now become the night and make all of those responsible for this travesty suffer. Or at least apologize profusely…