Movie Reviews Long Overdue

Not that I'll ever catch up on all the films I watch on NetFlix...

Legend of the Guardians
Or as my wife called it, “The stupid owl movie.” (And she really wanted to see it, too!)
Zach Snyder’s directorial style is in full force here (think The 300) and the animation is superb. One particular scene with an owl called Soren flying in slow motion through a waterspout is incredible.
However, the story felt flat. I just wasn’t involved with the characters or overall storyline. It’s supposed to be an epic fantasy on par with LOTR, but I just didn’t feel it. And it may be based on a children’s book, but this flick is not for the little ones.

The Losers
I heard some good buzz about this film but missed it in the theaters. An elite Special Forces team (The Losers) is double-crossed and decides to clear their name the only way they know how. Cue the bullets and explosions. This is a guy movie with good characters, fun dialogue, and a smoking hot Zoë Saldana.

Kick-Ass
The superhero movie that turns the genre on its head. Kick-Ass (from a graphic novel series) tells the simple story of a teen nebbish who decides to turn his life around - by becoming a superhero despite the fact he has no powers whatsoever. Funny, poignant, crude, and over-the-top. I really thought I’d hate this movie, but it’s quite entertaining.

Planet 51
One word - bad! I finally gave up after 30 minutes. (Yes, I survived 122 minutes of Sharktopus, but that was for a cause!) It’s as if someone took an unedited, rough first draft screenplay and made it into a film. Bad dialogue, poor editing, and a lame story. I felt bad for the animators who worked on this film because they did a fine job!

And to wrap up this movie-fest of a week - Friday is the roundup of October movies!

September Movies and Centurion Review

A new month approaches and so does a slew of new movies...

September 3-

MACHETE
Director: Ethan Maniquis Robert Rodriguez
Stars: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro
The Plot: After being betrayed by the organization who hired him, an ex-Federale (Trejo) launches a brutal rampage of revenge against the people who double-crossed him.
This was one of the spoof trailers for Grindhouse – and now it’s an actual, honest-to-God movie! Cheesy, over-the-top fun – I am so there!

THE AMERICAN
Director: Anton Corbijn
Stars: George Clooney, Paolo Bonacelli, Violante Placido
The Plot: An assassin hiding out in an Italian village while he anticipates his last-ever assignment tempts fate by seeking out the friendship of a priest (Bonacelli) as well as the affection of a local woman (Placido).
I’ll either do a double feature or catch this one on NetFlix.


September 10-

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Stars: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Wentworth Miller
The Plot: As the T-Virus continues to spread, Alice (Jovovich) maintains her mission to find survivors and keep them safe from the Undead, and to take down the Umbrella Corporation. Reteaming with Claire (Larter), Alice makes a dangerous journey to a new city that is said to be a safe haven: Los Angeles.
I doubt I’ll venture to the theater for this one, even though it's 3S, but will definitely watch on NetFlix.

September 17-

ALPHA AND OMEGA
Director: Anthony Bell Ben Gluck
Stars: Hayden Panettiere, Christina Ricci, Justin Long
The Plot: After being relocated to Idaho by park rangers, a female and a male wolf face a dangerous trip across unfamiliar territory in their attempt to find their way home to Canada.
Another computer animated flick – which doens't guarantee quality, so not sure about this one yet.

September 24-

LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS
Director: Zack Snyder
Stars: Jim Sturgess, Hugo Weaving, David Wenham
The Plot: Soren is a young Barn Owl who lives in the peaceful forest of Tyto. Kidnapped and brought to the foreboding St. Aegolius Academy for Orphaned Owls, Soren must face certain challenges -- including taking his first-ever flight -- on a dangerous adventure that leads to the mythical Great Ga'Hoole Tree, where he and his friends Gylfie, Twilight, and Digge look to fight a great evil in their world.
The animation looks incredible! HOLLYWOOD SPY has posted numerous trailers, so check it out.

???-

SUCK
Director: Rob Stefaniuk
Not sure when this one will hit theaters or DVD – it’s hit most of the independent film festivals. But it stars Malcolm McDowell, Dave Foley, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Moby, AND Alex Lifeson of Rush!! According to the IMDB, it’s “A comedy centered on a rock 'n' roll band that will do anything to become famous.” The previews bring to mind the likes of The Lost Boys and Fright Night – just good vampire fun. View the trailer HERE


REVIEW – CENTURION

Directed by Neil Marshall, starring Michael Fassbender
I was fortunate that this was a free view on HDNet last Wednesday night, so I got to see it two days before its USA release.
Centurion is exactly what I expected. It’s not a grand epic nor does it break any new ground. However, it does contain some amazing scenery and cinematography, very bloody battles, and an interesting storyline. The story follows Centurion Quintus Dias (played by Fassbender) – his brigade is slaughtered by the Picts, and he escapes capture and joins with General Titus Flavius Virilus (played by the always cool Dominic West) and the 9Th legion. When the general’s troops are ambushed, Dias must lead the seven survivors back home.
The Scottish landscape is incredible! It’s as much a character in the story as are the actors. Everything feels very realistic – the Picts are not supernatural, just people defending their land. And in the middle of bloody war was an aspect I was not expecting… Can’t tell you or I’d spoil the movie!
If you’re into medieval battles and suspense, this movie is for you! Again, nothing that will knock your socks off, but it’s an enjoyable movie.

Enjoy your popcorn!