Transformers III, FFW, and Swamp Shark - a Play-By-Play!

Ninja party today!

Elizabeth Mueller has a HUGE contest/giveaway for the release of her new novel, Darkspell. There are some cool prizes, including a gargoyle, so check it out. She’s also making a guest appearance here on July 11.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Giant fighting robots! Lots of action! Special effects! Chicago in ruins! (Sorry, Michael.) And if you’re expecting anything more from the third film from Michael Bay based on a toy line, forget it. Wasn’t perfect – editing seemed rushed – but better than the second film. And in 3D – whoa! Leave brain at door and prepare for eye candy.

Fantastic Friday Writers - The Science in Science Fiction

I’m not tech or science heavy in my writing. (You want some science tips, visit Stephen Tremp.) But it does all have to make sense, even if you’re messing with physics. And it needs consistency. My greatest challenge was with the teleporters found on the Cassan’s ships. It’s almost a symbiotic relationship between the mechanical device that powers the jump and the Cassan’s mental ability to fold space. Once I had the logistics figured out, I had to adhere to the rules I’d created. (Which meant the final battle scene went through many rewrites as I tried to figure out how to make it all work!)

Check with my FFW partners Elizabeth, Anastasia, J. D., Deirdre, M. Pax, and Jeffrey for a take on science that actually makes sense!

And now – Swamp Shark – a play-by-play!

Entertainment Weekly gave this cinematic suppository an F+. My expectations are not quite that high.


9:00 - When the producer of the film is named Badish, it pretty much sets the tone.


9:02 - Drunken revelers starting off a movie about a rogue shark. Now where have I seen that before?


9:10 - I'm literally watching D.B. Sweeney and Kristy Swanson destroy their careers (sad.)


9:12 - This movie was either edited by seven monkeys with scissors or Freddie Krueger and Edward Scissorhands.


9:14 - Just to make sure they have every movie stereotype in place, they now introduce the moronic, hard-partying frat boy.


9:16 - Impatiently waiting for the loveable drunk to get eaten.


9:17 - Does this mean the shark is now drunk or is it more like eating half a rum cake?


9:42 - Apparently, there is an app for hunting a rogue shark with gator radio beacons lodged in its stomach. Apple rocks!


10:18 - D.B. Sweeney takes Kristy Swanson to see chewed up corpses in the morgue - now that's what I call a first date. (Eat your heart out ladies!)


10:22 - Idiotic frat boy finally gets eaten - and there was much rejoicing.


That's all I can take folks, I can't watch anymore. However, I assume the shark ends up eating the entire state of Louisiana, gets bad indigestion from a funky batch of gumbo, and explodes.

Now where’s my Hot Tamales???

And to my American friends, have a great Fourth of July!

GL, SyFy's SS, and Awesome Guest on Critiquing!

Before I unleash my awesome guest, I need to give you a movie update.

Green Lantern – It was fun! Glad I went. Dialogue was a bit cheesy at times, but hey – it’s a comic book. The film wasn’t Shakespeare, but thank God it wasn’t Catwoman, either. So while it wasn’t the perfection of either of Nolan’s Batman films, I still had a good time.

Swamp Shark – Entertainment Weekly gave it an F. Can’t imagine why. Oh wait, that’s because it SUCKED! At least Sharktopus was cheesy bad fun. I suffered through long enough to give you a short play-by-play this coming Friday. I better get some Hot Tamales for my effort…

Now to my awesome guest, Rusty Webb!

Rusty’s blog is The Blutonian Death Egg and he’s one of my amazing critique partners. The dude also has a great sense of humor. His critique comments are snarky, random, and sometimes go off on wild tangents – and fused with humor, they’re perfect! I couldn’t ask for a better critique partner.

I asked Rusty to share his thoughts on critiques…

Alex, the nicest guy on the internet, gave me the opportunity to talk for a few minutes about the art of critique. Funny that he would ask me, since the notes I sent to him after reading his most excellent sequel to CassaStar were rants about why I think Stargate ruined the SciFi (SyFy) channel and attempts to draw him into a debate about the physics of a fictional energy source. But ask me he did, and if there is anything I've learned in life, it’s to never turn down an opportunity, even if it’ll only serve to expose me as a fraud.


Once, earlier in my life, after much blood and pain, tears and heartache, I produced the greatest piece of written fiction the world had ever known. Still aglow with the glory of my achievement, I delivered it by hand to a friend to read and sat back to wait for the praise to come. They took a glance and said, “This is a mess.”


A piece of me died then. Right there, at that moment.


It wasn’t possible. I worked so hard, so long. How could they not see the brilliance? Did they even read it? Well, no. In fact, they said it was so bad they couldn’t get past the first page.


The first page? But the first page was awesome. Geez.

In the years since, I’ve managed to come to terms with the need for a critical eye – maybe not one so crushing as my first experience. But in the hands of someone you trust, someone who wants to help you make the story be the masterpiece you know it is, and not someone who wants to turn it into their story, or is venting because they’re frustrated by their own issues, then it doesn’t have to hurt so much.


Because here is the truth of it: Almost all the stories out there that any of us feel compelled to write are great, it’s just that sometimes the way we choose to tell the tale gets in the way. We emphasize the wrong parts, or forget to tell about why a character behaves the way he does. Writing is how we translate the story from the mind to the page – and sometimes it can lose something in the translation.


So here's to critiquing, the art of helping understand the human mind.

Rusty, if you understand Byron’s mind, you’re light years ahead of me.
Thanks, dude!

Any questions? Comments? Snarking? Thoughts on SyFy Craptastic movies?

Bowing to Pressure and MC Blogfest

First, I have succumbed to the pressure – I’m going to see Green Lantern this weekend! So many of you were disappointed not to get the Alex review – didn’t realize I was such a go-to guy for movies. Anyway, Cars 2 is not receiving great reviews over at Rotten Tomatoes (it was at 38% last I looked – really low for Pixar film) and since Cars was not one of my favorites, I decided to just go enjoy Green Lantern. Expectations set to low, brain dropped at the door, and ready for eye candy.

Don’t forget SyFy’s craptastic Swamp Shark this Saturday. I hope to have a play-by-play for you next Friday.

Will at Fatherhood and Other Common Terrors posted a review of CassaStar this week – thanks, dude!

And Monday expect an AWESOME guest to appear here! An uber-cool rocker. Okay, not a real rocker. Don’t expect John Sykes or Joe Satriani. But he is cool and here for your amusement!

Today is Elizabeth Mueller’s Getting to Know Your MC Blogfest. With prizes and everything!

Three questions for my main character, Byron. Three questions as he prepares to embark on another adventure. (The as-of-yet unnamed sequel to my first book, although I recently dubbed it CassaStar II: Electric Boogaloo. That probably won’t fly with my publisher though.) Three questions – and for once, he refrained from snarking:

1 What is your greatest fear?

Cassans like to refer to it as disconnected, although you might call it a fear of intimacy. I’ve been alone all of my life. I like my privacy. Always felt letting someone in was a sign of weakness. But now I feel a bit empty and alone. I’d consider letting someone into my life if I only knew how.

2 What is your biggest accomplishment?

Most would say it was my contribution toward ending the Vindicarn War, but that brings up too many painful memories for me. I would choose becoming a pilot instead. Few of my instructors thought I’d amount to anything and I was determined to prove them wrong. Now, not only am I one of the best pilots in the fleet, I’m one of the few who can teleport multiple times.

3 What is your biggest regret?

Losing my friend and navigator during the Vindicarn War. The crash wasn’t my fault, but I replay that scene over and over in my head, wondering if I could’ve done anything different. Considering where we landed, I should’ve died as well. Sometimes I wish I had. Bassa was my first real friend. He was like a brother to me. I miss his guidance and wish he could’ve joined me in exploration. At least I’m living his dream for him. But I'll never find another friend like Bassa...


Who’s watching movies this weekend? I know Melissa has some lined up! Taking the kids to see Cars II? Suffering through Swamp Shark? Or do you just have to check out the bat-shit crazy girl in Black Swan now?

Let Me Explain. No, There Is Too Much. Let Me Sum Up!

Lots of stuff for you today!

RJR Daydreamer is hosting Media Mayhem 3 day Blog Hop – Go to his site to participate this weekend.

I finished revisions and sent my manuscript to my publisher! Now comes the waiting...


Mini Movie Reviews-

Black Death
Soldiers journey to a village not infected with the Black Plague. Appropriately bleak look at a dark time in our history. Movie ramps up a good amount of tension and mystery. With Sean Bean!

Black Swan
Bat-shit crazy girl gets lead in Swan Lake. I understood the metaphors, but I’ve seen it before, and while the movie made me feel uneasy, it didn’t make for an enjoyable viewing experience. Did I mention the girl is crazy?

Watched Falling Skies the other night. Like it so far. Although after it was over, my wife and I both commented that it was like The Walking Dead. Except with aliens of course.

Don’t forget, the latest SyFy Craptastic original movie is this Saturday night - “Swamp Shark” with DB Sweeny and Kristy Swanson. Yes, expect a play-by-play in the coming weeks. I am willing to sacrifice a my sanity for my blogger buddies!


My Latest Tunes-

Amon Amarth’s “Surtur Rising”
Quite possibly the best Viking metal you will ever hear!

The new In Flames and Symphony X albums came out Tuesday. I’m so happy!


And Jeremey at IZombieLover made these really awesome zombie pictures for me! Yes, that is Woody Harrelson and Kate Beckinsale. (She’s looked better!)

Seen either of those movies? Watched Falling Skies? I’d ask if you like those bands, but I’m guessing the answer would be no…