Ode to Sharktopus, Ninja News, CassaStorm Update, and October Movie Preview!

Two years ago, Sharktopus escaped the deluded minds at the SyFy Channel and attacked the viewing public with a vengeance. I braved this Saturday night Craptastic film and brought to you a play-by-play of the disaster. To celebrate this most auspicious occasion, I am guest posting at Lee’s blog, Tossing it Out, with a tribute called Sharktopus: A Love Story, as well as the original play-by-play in its entirety. If you’re in need of a good laugh today, go pay Tossing it Out a visit!

Ninja News!

Thanks to everyone who visited Karen at Write Now earlier this week for my take on what makes a blog successful. Really appreciated the awesome comments!

Jeffrey Beesler is hosting a giveaway for his latest book, Speed Demons, through September 27 – visit his site for details!

In case you missed it, Ciara Knight and I are hosting the Did I Notice Your Book Blogfest on October 17. Join us in highlighting a special book you’ve noticed lately.

Special cover reaveal!

The Big Smoke by Cally Jackson Coming in October 2012

Ceara’s desperate for love; Seb’s desperate to get laid. Two strangers, both moving from small country towns to Brisbane for uni. Will they survive life in the big smoke or crumble under the pressure?

Find the book on Goodreads

And find Cally at: Blog, Twitter, and Goodreads.

CassaStorm Progress!

Monday night I finished revisions and sent CassaStorm off to my awesome critique partners, Rusty, Jeffrey, and Cassie Mae! I let one of my test readers (who rocks with dialogue) attack it first and he also had some good suggestions for slight plot changes. So four months to create the outline, two months to write the first draft, and two months of editing and mutilating. At the moment it’s clocking in at 82,000 words, which is a record for me. Now it’s in my critique partners’ hands. Let the carnage begin…

October Movie Preview!

Here are the upcoming releases for October. Not a great selection, but I did the best I could with the list. As always, descriptions courtesy of the IMDB. Snarky comments by me.

5 -

Taken 2
In Istanbul, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills and his wife are taken hostage by the father of a kidnapper Mills killed while rescuing his daughter.
Director: Olivier Megaton
Stars: Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace, Rade Serbedzija
The only that could make this better if it was called Taken 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Frankenweenie
Young Victor conducts a science experiment to bring his beloved dog Sparky back to life, only to face unintended, sometimes monstrous, consequences.
Director: Tim Burton
Stars: Winona Ryder, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Landau, Christopher Lee
Didn’t we already see this?




12 -

Sinister
Found footage helps a true-crime novelist realize how and why a family was murdered in his new home, though his discoveries put his entire family in the path of a supernatural entity.
Director: Scott Derrickson
Stars: Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, James Ransone, Vincent D'Onofrio
The preview isn’t scary, but every reviewer says this is terrifying. Not sure who to believe…


19 -

Alex Cross
A detective is told that a member of his family has been murdered. He vows to track down the killer.
Director: Rob Cohen
Stars: Tyler Perry, Matthew Fox, Rachel Nichols, Edward Burns
Terry Perry IS Alex Ninja! Wait, that’s not right…




26 –

Cloud Atlas
An exploration of how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and an act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution.
Directors: Tom Tykwer | Andy Wachowski | Lana Wachowski
Stars: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant, Hugo Weaving
Directed by the former Wachowski Brothers. Now the Wachowski Brother and Sister. Don’t make me explain…

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
When her father disappears, Heather Mason is drawn into a strange and terrifying alternate reality that holds answers to the horrific nightmares that have plagued her since childhood.
Director: Michael J. Bassett
Stars: Sean Bean, Radha Mitchell, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kit Harington
First one had great atmosphere and creepy visuals. Let’s hope this one also has a good story.


Ready for a good laugh this morning? (Hopefully not from my critique partners – that would be bad.) Excited about the news and new books? Signed up for the blogfest? Did you pick up The Avengers on Tuesday? I got my 3D copy! And what movies are you excited about next month?

Don’t forget to visit Tossing it Out for my sendoff to Sharktopus!

And the Ninja will be gone this weekend, so no post on Friday. Wife and I are both playing hooky. I will be lurking…

Deja Vu Blogfest - A SyFy Classic!

DL Hammons of Cruising Altitude fame, along with several others, is hosting the Déjà vu Blogfest today!

Before I jump into the blogfest, just a reminder – this is the last weekend to vote in the The Movie 411 Awards! I’m up for Best Sci-Fi Blog and Best Blog Post for The Worst Movies Ever Blogfest and I’m not above groveling. Need help with Best Post!!! Don’t forget to vote for my buddies Cinemarvellous! iZombie! Melissa’s Imaginarium and MsMariah’s Space Blog-yssey

I did tie for Best Writing Blog over at A Peek at Karen’s World. Tied with Jennifer Hillier! Damn, I should’ve lost by a landslide. Jennifer is just so amazing.  Thanks, Karen!

On a sad note, has anyone heard from Ellie Garrett? She was taking a short break to write, but Jeremy and I have both sent emails and she hasn’t responded!

The Debutante Ball: Feast of Debut Authors continues with stops at Joseph Beekman December 16 and Pendragon Innmen December 17. Then on Monday, it’s my turn. Lots of cool things to win!
 

And now on to the blogfest!

When DL announced the Déjà vu Blogfest, I knew instantly which post I wanted to select. My older followers will remember I’ve done play-by-plays of some of SyFy’s more craptastic movies, but none beat this cinematic marvel:

I give you - Sharktopus – A Play By Play. Enjoy!

My thoughts while watching Sharktopus, recorded by the minute. 

3 min – The “ding” of the elevator sounds just like my microwave oven chime. 

7 min – They didn’t waste any time with pesky details like plot or exposition. 

10 min – Roger Corman must have pictures of Eric Roberts with a donkey or something. 

13 min – Roberts isn’t even trying. I think he’s cold-reading the script from cue cards. 

15 min – Hot woman on beach – the movie is getting better. 

16 min – Oh wait, Sharktopus killed her. Movie sucks again. 

19 min – Not so attractive woman goes bungee jumping. I’m okay with her dying. 

30 min – Various shots of sun-soaked, bikini-clad hotties flashes across the screen. This should be the centerpiece of the film. 

37 min – Sharktopus attacks sunbathers. The CGI is so bad I find myself growing nostalgic for a guy in a big rubber suit. 

42 min – A man tells Roberts there’s something on TV he has to see. I’m pretty sure it’s not Sharktopus. 

44 min – The lead actress’s voice keeps shifting from British to American. She must’ve studied at the Kevin Costner Robin Hood School of Acting. 

51 min - Is there enough alcohol in the house to get through this movie? 

62 min – Pretty sure Roberts is drunk. Lucky bastard. 

64 min – They should rename “SyFy Saturday Night” to “SyFy Saturday Craptacular.” 

73 min – The upside to being eaten by Sharktopus: you don’t have to sit through the rest of Sharktopus. 

80 min – A pirate radio DJ mocks Sharktopus and is devoured. This is a life lesson, people! 

83 min – Sharktopus just pantsed some guy. That was… awkward. 

93 min – No really, Roberts is hammered. The guy was on a three-day bender shooting this film. 

98 min – The movie just morphed into a Puerto Vallarta travelogue. Or a bad Bollywood film. Not sure which. 

107 min – Roberts is killed by Sharktopus and there was much rejoicing. 

110 min – Our hero now intends to run over Sharktopus with a minivan. Hope he’s insured. 

122 min – Sharktopus is arrested on tax evasion charges. Movie over. 

Now you don't have to waste two hours of your life! You can thank me later... 

Visit Cruising Altitude for the list of participants.

Anyone else suffer through this craptastic film? Following the Debutante Ball: Feast of Debut Authors? Want to know what you can win here on Monday? Going to see Sherlock Holmes this weekend? Still wondering what the hell is a Sharktopus…?

Sharktopus: A Play-by-Play

Did you catch this SyFy disaster last Saturday night? Fear not! Though it was far worse than expected, I suffered through the event, just for YOU! There were far better things on TV that night, too. I caught glimpses of the Boise State game during the commercials, and let me tell you, that Smurf-blue field looked far more enticing! But I stuck it out so that I could present to you:

My thoughts while watching Sharktopus, recorded by the minute.

3 min – The “ding” of the elevator sounds just like my microwave oven chime.

7 min – They didn’t waste any time with pesky details like plot or exposition.

10 min – Roger Corman must have pictures of Eric Roberts with a donkey or something.

13 min – Roberts isn’t even trying. I think he’s cold-reading the script from cue cards.

15 min – Hot woman on beach – the movie is getting better.

16 min – Oh wait, Sharktopus killed her. Movie sucks again.

19 min – Not so attractive woman goes bungee jumping. I’m okay with her dying.

30 min – Various shots of sun-soaked, bikini-clad hotties flashes across the screen. This should be the centerpiece of the film.

37 min – Sharktopus attacks sunbathers. The CGI is so bad I find myself growing nostalgic for a guy in a big rubber suit.

42 min – A man tells Roberts there’s something on TV he has to see. I’m pretty sure it’s not Sharktopus.

44 min – The lead actress’s voice keeps shifting from British to American. She must’ve studied at the Kevin Costner Robin Hood School of Acting.

51 min - Is there enough alcohol in the house to get through this movie?

62 min – Pretty sure Roberts is drunk. Lucky basterd.

64 min – They should rename “SyFy Saturday Night” to “SyFy Saturday Craptacular.”

73 min – The upside to being eaten by Sharktopus: you don’t have to sit through the rest of Sharktopus.

80 min – A pirate radio DJ mocks Sharktopus and is devoured. This is a life lesson, people!

83 min – Sharktopus just pantsed some guy. That was… awkward.

93 min – No really, Roberts is hammered. This guy was on a three-day bender shooting this film.

98 min – The movie just morphed into a Puerto Vallarta travelogue. Or a bad Bollywood film. Not sure which.

101 min - I wonder if Boise State is still winning?

107 min – Roberts is killed by Sharktopus and there was much rejoicing.

110 min – Our hero now intends to run over Sharktopus with a minivan. Hope he’s insured.

122 min – Sharktopus is arrested on tax evasion charges. Movie over.

Now you don't have to waste two hours of your life! You can thank me later...

Seven Things....

Zoe at No Letters on my Keyboard gave me the Versatile Blogger award and wanted me to list seven things about myself. I’m rather boring, so instead I give you seven fascinating science fiction news flashes!

First is a big shout-out to Angela at Jaded Love Junkie! She was my 200 followers giveaway winner and received a review copy from my publisher. She got the book on Friday and posted her review yesterday – and she liked CassaStar! (Much to my relief!) Visit her BLOG to read the review, which really highlights what’s important about my book. Thanks, Angela! I don’t have to hide my head in shame… Stargate Universe, the third series in the Stargate family, has a few surprise guests for its second season – David Hewlett as Dr. Rodney McKay and Robert Picardo as Commander Richard Woosley, both from Stargate: Atlantis, will make guest appearances. And here I thought the series was doomed… Don’t forget Sharktopus! This train-wreck of a movie debuts on the SyFy channel September 25. This can be science fiction, depending on your selections – the TOP 10 TV SHOWS Blogfest! It’s MONDAY! There were 60 signed up for The Movie Dirty Dozen – I’d like to hit 70 for this one. Tell all your friends!!! Sign up and blog about YOUR favorite TV shows!

Movie review – The Book of Eli The reviews were so mixed on this film that I waited to see it on NetFlix. It’s atmospheric, almost like a graphic novel come to life. Denzel Washington is the hero, heading west with a book – the last remaining Bible – in a post-apocalyptic world. He comes upon a town run by Gary Oldman (ever the chameleon character) who is searching for a Bible so that he can control the residents with the power of the Word. The critics had issues with things that didn’t bother me. However, this is an awkwardly paced film. It’s very slow and dark – as in, sometimes you can’t see the character’s faces it’s so dark. It sets a unique tone, one that will not set well with everyone. If not for the big revelation at the end – and the purpose of Washington’s character heading west – I would’ve written it off as an average film. That made it all worthwhile for me. Have you seen the trailer for Monsters?

Did You Know...?

Just entertaining and interesting news from around the web... New Terry Brooks novel due out on August 24, 2010 - Bearers of the Black Staff (Legends of Shannara) Sharktopus makes an appearance in Futurama!  Lame movie news - Columbia Pictures is in negotiations with Len Wiseman (Underworld) to direct a reboot of Total Recall. Yes, the 1990 movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently we didn’t have special effects back in 1990. Why else remake the film? Three people are suing Apple over ‘overheating’ iPads. The iPad automatically shuts down when used in temperatures or direct sunlight over 95 degrees for extended periods of time. This is to prevent damage to the unit. Now, you make think this is an issue with users or that the unit has failed to shut down before the heat causes permanent damage. Not true! Prepare for the real reason these people are suing: “The plaintiffs seem to take particular issue with Apple claiming that "reading on the iPad is just like reading a book." This claim is patently false, according to the lawsuit, because a real book can be used in "the sunlight or other normal environmental conditions" without shutting off.” - CNN.com Is that petty or what? I’m sure Kindle and Nook lawsuits will follow. Let's see how fast Amazon and Barnes and Nobel's legal department can move to remove the words "just like a book" from all literature! New albums coming within the next year from the following bands: Anthrax – Worship Music Serenity – Death & Legacy Symphony X OSI Fates Warning And… Rush – Clockwork Angels, due out Spring of 2011!!

July 29th was Geddy Lee’s birthday! The dude is fifty-seven - can you believe that?

Last but not least, I am visiting Breakthrough Blogs on Monday, sharing a little bit about my publishing journey. Stephen also has a new book coming out, so visit his site to learn more! Anything else of interest happening in the world of entertainment? Platytigers taking over the world perhaps? (Now that would be quite a sight!)