Monday, February 20, 2012

Making Great Connections

I am a guest today over at Lisa’s Flash Fiction. Well, not really me – Byron is the guest. He’s the one being interviewed. So please stop by for his sometimes serious, sometimes snarky answers.

Since I ended my followers series with connections, today I thought I’d give you examples of making good ones. (Because Friday is the big kick-off tour announcement and it’s really damn cool!)

Making great connections…

Through good humor
Being a comedian online shouldn’t mean being rude or offensive. One can be funny with style and manners. No one does this better than Jesse. (Copyboy) Nothing is really sacred on his blog, but his posts are always tongue in cheek – and his comments are positive and supportive. Jesse is an awesome blogger buddy and he searches the Web for those unique items so we don’t have to!

Through effort
Sometimes we don’t relate to someone right away. I read Roland Yeomans' posts often but rarely left comments. His posts were deep, and often I wouldn’t grasp the full meaning in one read. I realized that if I was ever going to make a friend, I had to put forth extra effort – even if it meant reading his posts twenty times! Considering the wisdom I gather every time I visit, I’m now proud to call Roland a friend.

Through time and consistency
I’ve been friends with Arlee Bird Arlee Bird longer than anyone. Through two (soon to be three) A to Z Challenges, numerous blogfests, and many features, he’s been a steady and consistent buddy. We’ve maintained contact through blogging and emails, and I’d trust him with anything. No matter what happens, I know Lee always has my back!

Through love
That’s right – love! And I can think of no better example than Yvonne Lewis. I met her during the first Challenge and she possesses such motherly love. Providing a blurb for her latest book meant the world to me. Yvonne’s beautiful words would be missed; hope she never gives up. She will always be my online ‘mom.’

Through mutual interests and admiration
It’s not difficult to find others who share our interests, but add mutual admiration and it’s awesome. Not everyone relates to my tastes in movies, music, and genre, but Rusty Webb understands. He’s also a sheer genius when it comes to writing a compelling story. (Something he tells me as well but I don’t believe him!) The man with a wicked sense of humor still owes me a beer and I intend to collect one day.

And so many other ways to connect! I have movie buddies like George and Melissa; science fiction writing buddies Jeffrey and M. Pax; joking buddies Robyn and Gail; happy buddies Talli and Nancy; and my greatest supporters Chuck and Edi. I hate to leave anyone out, but my list of special friends is long. Let me just say I thank God for each and every one of you!

How meaningful are your connections? Who encourages you? Who do you admire, respect, and trust? Who has YOUR back?


Don’t forget to visit Flash Fiction! Byron is waiting…

129 comments:

  1. Great stuff, Alex. I'm off now to visit all these peeps.

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  2. I am twirling in my connection.

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  3. I have a primarily wargaming blog but I follow now I think more non wargaming blogs because so many good diverse blogs are out there if you look and friendships are made through this medium....

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  4. The connections are important. I think you do one of the best jobs of really connecting with people.

    I have made some friends out there too that I value and we try to help each other out.

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  5. Thanks for the mention, Alex. I really appreciate it. I guess it's hard to mention only 10-12 people, when you have hundreds of commentors and 1344 followers.

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  6. I am famous now!!! Listed in one of your posts is a great honor...thank you!

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  7. Alex, I just read Byron's interview - loved it! I could really relate to his answers, as I am in the middle of reading Cassa Star and enjoy his sulky, perfectionist, loner personality! Will definately be reading Cassa Fire!

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  8. A great way of looking at online connections, Alex! And thanks for giving me new blogs to visit.

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  9. I just began reading Not Worth Mentioning last week. And Rusty...well now, he has one sweet blog.

    Connections, whether blogging or doing research, is vital. I am continually amazed at the depth, the friendship, and loyalty.
    And humbled by the fellowship.

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  10. I LOVE Roland Yeomans, but like you, I wasn't sure if I would be able to get into his blog. However, I took a deep breath and re-red the posts a few times, and now I never miss it! :D

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  11. What a terrific thing to say! One of the many reasons it's always a pleasure to deal with you is because you are so sincere. It's an honor.

    Thank you.

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  12. This was an incredibly beautiful post. You are truly one of the best people I have ever met and through you, I have gotten to know so many other amazing people. Thank you for all your support and this terrific mention.

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  13. Connections are the spice of life. Without them, life would be dull.

    T

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  15. Nice interview, Alex. I also made a lot of meaningful connections since I started blogging, but they're about as varied as they are numerous. :-)

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  16. Lurker, I follow a variety as well. Makes life more fun!

    Thank you, Natalie.

    George, that's why I have something cool in mind for the A to Z Challenge this year!

    Gail, you're welcome. I'll better than that next time though.

    CM, thanks! So glad you are enjoying the book and like the character.

    Kyra, good - it wasn't just me!

    Thanks, Rusty. Now where's my beer?

    Thank you for the kind words, Melissa!

    Misha, variety is the spice of life!

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  17. Awww circle of bloggie love! Yay!! Glad you are finding lots of support and love and happiness round the blogworld! Yay!! A happy ninja Cap'n is a happy Alex!! Take care
    x

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  18. That is an awesome way to acknowledge people, listing your reasons why you connect!

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  19. Great post! I understand what you mean about connections. It was rough in the beginning remembering all the great blogs, but with time, the names are beginning to stick to specific blogs I follow and I think that's part of making connections.

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  20. That's a nice list of bloggers/writers! You are right that you do have to invest yourself in it, but it doesn't take long to feel that you make connections with people.

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  21. What an honor to have been a part of this tribute today from such a highly regarded blogger and among such esteemed company.

    It's a two-way street. You've always been a solid guy and fun to collaborate with. Now, when are you coming to Los Angeles so we can meet in person?

    Thanks, Alex!


    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  22. Those connections are what we are all about. Good job saluting them.

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  23. What a nice tribute post.

    I have a few bloggers whom have become more than blogging buddies, but friends. Len Lambert is one of them.

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  24. I've found a lot of people I respect and admire since I started blogging. There are so many inspirational and wonderful people in the writing community!

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  25. Variety is indeed the spice of life...I ventured into Roland's blog during Rule Of three and ventured out just as fast....maybe I will go back and try again like a good Ninja turtle in training. :)

    I love almost all the blog/gers I follow...that's why I do it in the first place.

    And why does one commenter's words on Your Byron remind me of the other lordly one?

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  26. It certainly is a great sentiment. And I've met (not in real life) some pretty great people over this last year with the new blog, and they keep me sane, closer to centered, and they tolerate (or at least pretend to tolerate) my nerd.

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  27. I have a handful of people that I've made some real connections with outside of the blog. Creatively it's been great because we share ideas and exchange work. Wouldn't have found them if not for blogging.

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  28. I love making new connections. But first I'm going to visit Byron!

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  29. Thanks for the links. You're right, good, true connections are important. I count you among the ones I've been blessed with.

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  30. I have made many special friends through blogging. I just love that we have so much in common and search for their blogs everyday.

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  31. Kitty, that's right!

    Marta, that's why I made it easy by using my own name!

    Lee, I don't get that far west often! When's the next time you're coming to the east coast?

    Rek, you'll have to try again. Not sure why they remind you - will have to look again!

    Joshua, nothing wrong with being nerdy.

    Thank you, Karen!

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  32. Hey thanks so much!!!! I am an odd duck! Just kidding. BTW...made you blog of the day for the week...starting now.

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  33. Yay! What a great post! On my way to check some of them out

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  34. Lots of blogs I need to check out! I feel the same way about Roland's blog too. I don't always leave comments because I don't always know what to say! Just have to think...

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  35. What I love about the blogosphere and specifically my followers is that there's a constant revolving door of support. :)

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  36. Good idea for a post about relationships here in the blogosphere. I should do this.

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  37. Aw, you have no idea how much it means to me to be your buddy, and a happy one, at that! I got into blogging because it was expected as an aspiring writer, but I stay in it because of the great friendships I have acquired. They keep me going just when I think I can't go one more step. I hope I can do at least that much.

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  38. Love the connections in the blog world! Thanks for sharing some of your favs!

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  39. Connections are SO important. It's not what you know, but WHO you know. ;)

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  40. I do read a lot of blogs on various subjects—don’t always comment.There are so many wonderful blogging friends out there and way too many to name.

    I read your blog regularly and love the variety of topics and Steve Tremp for the same reason—it’s interesting. Even though the two of you pull me into all sorts of blog stuff.

    For laughter and fun, it’s The Romance Bandits. http://romancebandits.com/ I have several good friends at the Lair.

    For general chit chat and always a good recipe, Jo Henderson (she doesn't get a lot of comments but I enjoy her blog. http://henderson-jo.blogspot.com/

    I’ve always enjoyed Tonya Kappas’s blogs when she and Misa were doing the Naked Hero and now she does a blog for writers on marketing http://tonyakappes.blogspot.com/

    Mason Canyon, Thoughts in Progress http://masoncanyon.blogspot.com/ and has been a support to me and has pulled me back into reading mysteries and usually has a good guests and book reviews.

    For craft topics, hands down it has to be Beth Hill, The Editor’s Blog. http://theeditorsblog.net/ Beth is a fabulous professional editor and good friend of several years standing. I like how she shows you what works and what doesn’t. Wonderful resource.

    Sia McKye OVER COFFEE

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  41. It's is true about making solid connection and the people I'm made a connection with can keep their stupid captcha and I will still comment!

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  42. Nice post about blogger friends and connections. Thanks -some very special people you mentioned there.

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  43. Arlee and Yvonne are both wonderful people.

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  44. With social media being what it is these days, I feel the connections being made are growing stronger. That six degrees of separation thing is probably very true today.

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  45. The connections I've made are so warm and wonderful. It's been interesting to watch these people go from online peeps to actual friends.

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  46. Jesse, thanks dude!!!! And you are not an odd duck.

    Colene, I don't visit without my brain engaged.

    Nancy, you're welcome and that's why I stay as well.

    Sia, thanks for listing your favorites. I visit Mason's blog often as well.

    Jeffrey, yes they are.

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  47. Like Gail and Arlee, I feel honored to be mentioned in such company and on your blog. That you took EXTRA effort to be my friend makes me humble. Thank you, friend.

    I feel grieved that my posts are an effort to read though. I try to reach out to my other friends, pointing out pot-holes on the path to publication in which I have twisted my own ankle.

    Thank you, Colene and Kyra, for visiting and commenting. Sometimes it feels as if I am playing to an empty house. Your comments, Alex and Kyra, make me feel as if my cyber-home was being visited and enjoyed.

    Thanks again, Alex, for the link and for being my friend.

    And for all of you who have visited and scratched your head ... I really mean to help, honest! LOL. Roland

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  48. It's always so wonderful to find people you can connect with through the written word. Then, if you're lucky, you get to actually meet them in person and expand that connection. Arlee Bird just did and it was great to read the story about the day he met his poetess.

    I'm in a writers'online group and have been for several years. I guess these are the people who are meaningful to me, and I've always felt I really know them after sharing so many words and stories. In the last two years, I've been lucky to meet three out the four in person.

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  49. Your connection examples give great advice for those wanting to branch out and network. Some great blogs there, I will have to check out the ones I don't follow.

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  50. Talli has been such an inspiration to me, and it was amazing to meet her! Li at flash fiction, Michael at In Time... um... Trisha at Word + Stuff... the list is massive, and like you said - I treasure all of you!

    Off to visit your friends - ps - Jesse's link's not working
    Laura xxx

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  51. There are some amazing blogging friendships, aren't there? You, Alex, are right up at the top of that great blog connection list.

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  52. I initially felt the same way about Roland's blog. But the man has talent, there's no doubt about it!

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  53. Aw, you're sweet to give out some blog love. Good connections are really important. I'm still surprised that a number of writers don't put much importance on doing so. There is a great and encouraging writer community out there. You're one of the best, Alex. My critique partners are incredibly supportive and I'm lucky to have them.

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  54. Nicely done! I know some of these amazing bloggers and some I don't. Off to check out the extended family!

    I think of Yvonne, as my favorite aunt. I'm born on her birthday and share her love of poetry~ Maybe we are cousins?! ;D

    I'm trying to work my way through three worlds: writers, poets and artists. Blogging n' biking are going to be my new way to play catch up, lol (indoor bike)

    Thanks Cuz for your kind comments, they mean a lot in my world~

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  55. This was an awesome post. I enjoyed how you used the connections you made as examples.

    I am now off to read Byron's interview, and visit the blogs you listed.

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  56. Some familiar faces there. Will check out the others.

    mood

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  57. I've made a connection with numerous people through blogging. And of course...I'm off to read what Byron is saying.

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  58. I've definitely made so many friends via blogging. It's impossible to name them all (plus I'd be too afraid of missing someone out)

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  59. Of course I visited Flash Fiction!

    Connections are important and meaningful.
    All those great links. I would like to have more time to visit all the blogs and sites.

    Any way we will rock the house in the next days with the blog tour ahead.

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  60. Before I began blogging I was a real sceptic thinking the connections made online weren't the same as real friendships, but that soon changed. I don't think it's a coincidence that your list is the same as a list for making 'real world' friends.

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  61. Roland, you do help! My fault for not taking the time sooner to fully grasp everything you offer in your posts.

    Clee, he did indeed get to meet Yvonne last week!

    Laura, I'll fix his link!

    Thank you, Hart.

    Emily, he does!

    Christine, I don't know how writers could do this alone.

    Ella, we can be cousins! And I didn't know you and Yvonne shared a birthday.

    Lynda, I know I left out about a hundred, including you!

    Thanks, Edi - yes we will!!!

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  62. Byron is a tough guy does not care about women, Greetings.

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  63. In the past my connections were made always made face to face. But I'm learning (and loving) the idea of making connections through cyberspace. It's much faster than face to face and I don't have to put on my make-up before I meet them.

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  64. Thanks for the shoutout, Alex. I've met so many great people through blogs and Twitter. Writers make up a great community.

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  65. Alex, I love how your blog posts are always filled with such a positive feeling. :)

    I'd say just about anyone/everyone I've met through the Nathan Bransford forums are amazing connections. But my best so far has to be Sarah Ahiers, a writer who LIVES IN MY TOWN! Huzzah! We now get together once a month or so over lunch to chat about blogging, writing, and what comes next. It's been super nice to have someone in "3D."

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  66. Great shout out for your buds. I have a few blogs I try to visit every day and others I try to visit at least once a week. There are two writer friends I go to with all my dumb questions and I know they won't laugh.

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  67. I follow and enjoy quite a few of the blogs you've mentioned here today.

    I happen to have a special place in my writing heart for Maria Zannini. She's such a cool person to interact with and she's very encouraging. Plus, I love her writing!

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  68. Jenn, I was always hesitant as well, but it's been an awesome experience.

    Mary, you are welcome!

    TL, you've met Sarah in person? How awesome!

    Susan, I'll never laugh at you.

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  69. I know most of these people and they are first class first rate all the way! Off to Flash Fiction now.

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  70. So true about the offensive humor. (I'm so glad they're bringing Billy Crystal back for the Oscars for this reason.)
    Online connections can be as important as real-life ones, and so many are special to me. Sometimes for inspiration, sometimes for a pick-me-up, sometimes to take my breath away with their art.

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  71. They're very meaningful to me; and I love your list of ways to make connections.

    Great tribute! :)

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  72. I don't have enough connections online, but I really cherish the ones I do have. Mutual support in cyberspace can really be amazing.

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  73. okay --- I won't lie. I'm a little starstruck when you comment on my blog. *whew* There! I said it.

    Now I will try not to be quite so nervous to comment on your blog though. And I am off to check out Byron's interview! :)

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  74. Cate, Billy is back for the Oscars? Awesome!

    Thanks, Golden. You'd be on that list as well.

    Leigh, I'm just a geeky dude! Feel free to stop by anytime.

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  75. Lee is all sorts of awesome. Actually, I know most of the people you mentioned, and intrigued by the one I don't. I think I'll go check out his blog now. :) You have a lot of great blogging buddies.

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  76. Alex, you're a blogging rock star, and you've supported so many other writers! I love all the connections I've made through blogging, and I'm constantly amazed at how awesome all of you guys are!!!

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  77. The greatest thing for me is that I met most of you during the first A-Z blog, then I stopped writing for over a year...started back, and we all picked right back up where we left off. True friends! I love Yvonne and Arlee I knew even before he got the brainstorm of the Challenge. Alex you came right on over as soon as you found out I had moved back into my blog-o-house. Great friends all of you.


    dreamweaver

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  78. You're sweet, Alex. I'm honored to be mentioned, and this is a great post. I thank God too for my blog connections.

    xoRobyn

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  79. Great post! You're definitely one of my longest standing blog connections!

    I popped over to your - I mean Byron's - interview as well. Fun stuff!

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  80. I'm fortunate to have some great writing friends, including you and I admire your blogging efforts because I know how much work it is. Thanks for taking time to drop by my blog. :)

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  81. Ciara, he is awesome.

    Julie, thank you!

    Debra, glad you're back.

    Robyn, you rock!

    Alexia, thanks for reading.

    Thanks, Cindy. It is effort but well worth it.

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  82. The blogger friends I have are much like real friends--I have different things in common with different friends, and different depths to those connections.

    Great post!

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  83. I thought the interview with Byron was interesting.

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  84. This was a really nice post, Al. I appreciated very much what you had to say about each friend that has influenced and touched your life.

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  85. I think it's awesome how most of the best connections are made through diverse interests not pigeon holing yourself when it comes to networking.

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  86. I like the way you look at online connections... brings so much more meaning to it... and it's so true.

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  87. I agree that blogging is worthwhile because of the wonderful connections that are made! You put together an excellent list of people,many of whom I also admire! I look forward to meeting the rest of the bloggers on your list today. Thanks for making this such a meaningful experience Alex! Julie

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  88. I was starting to build up some nice connections, but I've let it slip over the past year since I haven't been posting regularly. It really does take constant attention, or people fade back out of your life...

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  89. Lydia, just like real life!

    Thanks, Awesome.

    Thank you, Suze.

    Jamie, exactly. That's why I'm thankful my followers are an eclectic bunch.

    Thanks, TF.

    Julie, thank you for the kind words.

    Ted, you're still one of my blogger buddies!

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  91. you are like the blogger mentor! the mother hen of bloggers! the superfriend blogger!

    need i go on?

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  92. That looks really interesting

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  93. My buddies Sharon and Jackee always have my back - I'm so grateful for them!

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  94. It never ceases to amaze me at how genuine these friends are.. friends we may never even meet in person.

    And hey 220 comments is your record?! That's outstanding! You will make it to 300 before the year is over. I'm challenging you. ;)

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  95. I've never been one to have a great number of connections, but the connections I have a great in and of themselves.

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  96. Great post as usual. I try to make meaningful connections. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. I figure as long as I be true to myself, the eh connections will filter away and the best ones will stay. Right?

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  97. Oh, yay! I'm a happy buddy! :) You were one of my first and one of my most consistent connections, too! So many great people out there in the blogosphere.

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  98. Great tips Alex - thanks for sharing them! :)

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  99. My list is also long. Right now, my cast for my play are my greatest support and inspiration.

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  100. As a socially awkward dude, I stumble around the 'net, looking for love ... and I find it in all the right places.

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  101. I love this post! I've made so many meaningful connections with blog friends. I hope to meet many of them one day when I go to their book signings!

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  102. You're right on with regards to Roland. Deep stuff, and you have to read slowly and think about everything. Love it!

    Glad you visit my corner of the blogosphere. Always good to have a fellow sci-fi fan coming around. Looking forward to helping promote CassaFire!

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  103. Connections and friends, be they in person or online, are really important in my life. My computer takes up most of my day, but it also allows me to keep in contact with others. Thanks for your post. It reminds me to connect with those friends.

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  104. Maurice, I seem to do better online than in real life. And goofy comments are welcome as well!

    Tara, thanks.

    PK, that's a really big challenge...

    Mina, exactly!

    Thank you, Talli! That makes me feel special.

    Julie, that's a great goal.

    Jay, I appreciate your support!

    Helen, mine takes a lot of my day as well.

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  105. Great post Alex! I'm happy to say that I've "connected with several of those folks also. Yourself also!

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  106. I think you make a good point about staying positive. A blogger can be irreverent and edgy online, but so long as they remain upbeat it works well.

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  107. Saw you on Emily's blog, cool site:)

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  108. I hope to dedicate my post on Tuesday 28. Greetings.

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  109. It's amazing how quickly blogger buddies can become real friends, isn't it? Blogging is like a big wormhole (nod to Stephen Tremp) to the rest of the world.

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  110. Thanks, Pat!

    Mark, yes it does.

    Leovi, thanks so much!

    Patricia, Stephen would like that analogy.

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  111. Since last summer I've made quite a few wonderful blogging connections, especially through Kristen Lamb's WANA onlie class and Rachel Harrie's Campaign. These friendships are amazing, and I hope to stay in touch for a long time, if not forever :-)

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  112. Connections sure make the writing life less lonely. Thanks to my blog, I've made great connections to some wonderful bloggy friends like you!

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  113. There are people who I now consider to be dear friends although I'll probably never meet them. This is why I know I can't stop blogging, it's the only way I can see my friends all in one place :-)

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  114. There are some people whose blogs I always check first and then I branch out. I wish I could have all the time in the world to make meaningful connections with all my blogger friends. I would say Nicole Zoltack, Aubrie Dionne, and Christine Rains have my back the most. They were some of my earliest blogger friends, and I can't imagine writing and blogging without them.

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  115. Thanks, Nutschell!

    Sarah, that's a good way of looking at it.

    Cherie, most of the ones I mentioned I've been blogging buddies with for a long time.

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  116. Very nice of you to share your spotlight day by referring on to others, Alex. Honestly those who've been the most to me have come through Twitter rather than pure blogging muscle. My compadres over there are indispensable.

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  117. Like your green header, how did you do it? I know Jesse, nice and hardworking bloke, not just humorous. Did I sound setting him up with a gal? haha.

    The Spinster’s Vow

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  118. This is a heart warming post Alex. I have several blogger friends who I really class as friends and feel so enriched sharing so much with them. Roland is certainly worth getting to know. He's awesome as a writer (even if a little hard to understand at times) and a great, loyal friend. I enjoyed reading about those you mentioned.

    All the best for the launch party.

    Denise

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  119. Nice breakdown! I've met a few people I've made solid connections with, and I'm so grateful to be able to say that. Off to visit Flash Fiction!

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse, co-host of the 2012 #atozchallenge! Twitter: @AprilA2Z

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  120. There are so many marvelous bloggers who have become friends: Dee, Delores, Melynda, Brianna, Lynda, Erin...Arleen, Melissa, Siv Maria, Elisa,Carole,...
    People whose writing inspire me and who respond to my writing.

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  121. Oh new bloggers to follow!

    And I'm like you, there are just so many people I honestly connect with. I'd just pick D. All of the above :)

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  122. I love my connections and the people I've met. Too many to mention!

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  123. Alex that was a lovely thing to write I will treasure those words.

    Be back at the week-end.
    Yvonne.

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  124. Alex that was a lovely thing to write I will treasure those words.

    Be back at the week-end.
    Yvonne.

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  125. Hi Alex .. love your take on these - and they're so true.

    Generally blogging buddies I find are supportive faithful! friends .. and it's just so lovely being able to relate to people .. and then occasionally we get to meet - I haven't met anyone yet - but will fairly soon I'm sure ..

    Cheers Hilary

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  126. Beautiful post, Alex. And who has my back? You do! You are such an amazing, thoughtful, kind blogger. I'm so glad to have met you through this wonderful literary world online.

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  127. I have let you down. I'm so sorry!

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