Monday, December 10, 2012
Who Am I?
I certainly wouldn’t have said author. I enjoyed writing but just couldn’t imagine a book with my name on it. I really couldn’t imagine putting myself out there for all the world to see. I’ve joked that I wanted to be a rock star, but I never would’ve made it. Hard to be a rock star when you’re hiding behind the drummer. (Even now, when our band practices or plays, I’m back beside the drum set.) The spotlight just makes me uncomfortable.
Because bottom line, I’m still just a head-banging movie geek who digs gadgets, science fiction, fantasy, and spending quiet evenings at home with his wife.
However, to say my life has been blessed since joining this online community is an understatement.
I didn’t agree to this blogfest for me. It’s really not about me. It’s about this blogging community. Yes, the posts will be silly things about me, but at the heart of today is the spirit of this community. People here are so giving and supportive. The blogging community is a force and stronger than most realize. Watching it come together for any reason is an amazing sight.
It’s one of the reasons I am so moved by the members of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. It’s like tossing a pebble into a pond and watching the rings ripple wider. After that first ring appears, it’s not the pebble that matters. It’s the rings. They are the force. They are all of you.
Where I am at now in life is important for one reason only – I’m in a better position to serve all of you. Yes, that line from Spiderman is corny – “With much power comes much responsibility” – but I take it to heart. I’m not here for me. I am here for you. I want to share your joys and triumphs with the world. I want you to accomplish your goals and realize your dreams. The glory goes to all of you.
I fail more often than I succeed, but my ultimate goal is to do everything for the glory of God. He is my peace and my strength. And if I am here because of Him, then I need to fulfill my purpose. “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others…” 1 Peter 4:10
I’m not perfect. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I’ve lost friends and gained enemies. I’m sorry if I’ve let anyone down or given reason to doubt. I’m just trying my damned hardest to do the best I can. I’m just one person, no one special, trying to give back.
Funny, I wrote this two and a half years ago for the very first A to Z Challenge, and it’s still true:
Continuing the A-Z Challenge from Arlee at Tossing it Out - today is J.
I follow some great writers on Blogger who offer both advice and support. I read posts by reviewers who offer deep, eloquent assessments of books. I watch established authors participate in events, win awards, and offer incredible words of wisdom. I absorb all marketing tips offered online and elsewhere in preparation for my own book release.
And in doing so, I foresee only one problem.
I'm just Alex.
There are so many incredible science fiction authors with experience, expertise, and solid platforms, and I realize now how short I fall of that mark. I can't show you a pile of awards. I don't write for a magazine or newsletter. My resume lacks a bit when it comes to writing. I do have several things going for me, but for the most part, I'm just Alex.
Does anyone else harbor such feelings of inadequacy? Does anyone else look at authors who've spent years writing for magazines, winning awards for their short stories, and producing critically-acclaimed books, and think to yourself "I'm in way over my head"?
Who am I?
Follower of Christ
And ultimately, I’m just Alex…
And I always will be…
Mark, Morgan, Stephen, and David. It’s open through December 12 and prizes include an autographed book, a sample of my guitar playing, and a picture of me.
Thanks to all my friends who have come out to support me, but mostly to support this awesome community. You are the heart of this blogfest.