First off, I’d like to thank Alex for getting me a spot on his blog! This place was one of the first blogs I found when I started blogging last year, and it’s my number one go-to for some good laughs and an update on anything happening in the writer’s blogosphere!
I love movies—a theme on this blog—and it kills me when I see idiotic plot contrivances. I mean, if a writer writes something screwy, I can forgive him or her because it’s one person on a budget of zero dollars putting thoughts to paper. Nevertheless, it’s mind boggling when Hollywood can’t put together a coherent script. Seriously, if you have a budget of fifty million dollars, splurge a hundred grand on a couple ambitious writers to proof read the script and brainstorm ways to iron out the wrinkles. Anyway, here are my top three movie idiocies of 2012!
· The Cold Light of Day: the protagonist and sidekick are chasing the rogue CIA woman in a massively long car chase to get a suitcase. They finally crash into her to get her to stop. She says something like “Now I’ve had it!” and pulls out her gun and begins to chase them in an equally long car chase! I actually laughed out loud in the theater at this disastrous lapse of logic.
· Dark Shadows: Right at the end, the little girl turns into a werewolf and quips: “I'm a werewolf, let's not make a big deal out of it...woof.” No lead up, not even a hint; a complete deus ex machina. Come on, Tim, you can do better than this!
· ATM: Three people trapped in an ATM booth. One crazy guy. There’s only one thing I can say about the entire premise here: It’s three against one! Attack him!
Wow. It actually feels good to get that rant off my chest! If you have can think of any ridiculous plot contrivances, post ‘em below! Would love to read some good ones!
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This is nothing more than a B movie with a massive budget. It out-does Michael Bay for over-the-top everything. The storyline is dumb. When they are calling out the locations of alien ships (B-19) I about lost it. And the missiles the aliens fire look like Battleship pegs – I kid you not! But you know what? It is a hell of a lot of fun! Acting not required, although everyone did all right in his or her part. The ships and the aliens are cool and the special effects nothing short of impressive. Watching large destroyers blow up is really impressive. It’s not art. It’s just a fun ride. I enjoyed it! Leave brain at door before entering theater and you will enjoy!
Movie Trivia Answers
“The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.” – Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
“You know, I used to think it was benign neglect, but now I see that you are intentionally screwing me.” – Dr. Grace Augustine, Avatar
“C'mon. Let's go see how much we're going for on eBay.” – Hamm, Toy Story III
“Certainty of death, *small* chance of success... What are we waiting for?” – Gimli, LOTR: Return of the King
“I may have had... briefly, mind you... stirrings.” – Jack Sparrow, POTC: On Stranger Tides
And I keep an eye on the Amazon.con rankings, but I totally missed the Amazon.UK rankings for CassaStar and CassaFire, both of which are in several top one hundred lists. Whoa! Thanks to Laura at the Daily Dodo, author of 100 Blog Prompts, for directing me to her review on Amazon.UK.
Following Jeremy or picked up his book, White Lies? Can you name any ridiculous plot contrivances? (He wants to know!) Have you seen Battleship? More likely to see it now? And did you know any of the movies? There were only ten possible answers not counting the Avengers…