Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Insecure Writer's Support Group Post & Tips

I am posting one day early for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group because there were questions. And I have answers.

- You don’t have to visit everyone (that’s my job) just connect with a dozen or so participants.
- Feel free to copy the button, link, and/or linky code. If you want to post the list of participants just on the first Wednesday, that’s cool.
- What do you write about? Post about your concerns, fears, and struggles and/or recent breakthroughs or words of encouragement for others

This is my first Insecure Writer’s Support Group post:

My biggest fear is friends - losing them. I worry I might say or do something dumb. I worry my snark might be taken the wrong way or my inexperience will cause hard feelings. After losing a friend earlier this year (even though it was over something of which I had no control) I don’t want to see any other friendships dissolve. You all matter to me and I don’t want to offend anyone.

Fortunately, friends are my greatest supporters. If you’re a writer looking for friends and encouragement, you’ve come to the right place. On days you’re feeling down, someone will say a word that renews your energy. My blogger buddies have kept me going long after I wanted to quit. They mean the world to me. And if you’re connecting with other bloggers, you’ll discover they are an awesome bunch of people!

And this is a little surprise, because I didn’t tell these guys. But my publisher is currently preparing review copies of CassaFire, and this will be the dedication:

For my three awesome friends
who guided me on this journey -
Rusty Webb
Jeffrey Beesler
Anne Gallagher
I couldn’t have done it without you!

Now, what’s your word of encouragement or writer insecurity today?

(And Jessica Bell is sorry, but she does not have a post for this week and asked if you’d just skip her name on the list for now.)

151 comments:

oceangirl said...

Now that you have mentioned that one could lose a friend through miswording and misunderstanding, I feel scared that that could easily happen. Firstly, English is not my language and as much as I am very comfortable with my American friends, there could easily be a phrase or an exclamation that I could easily misapply. And also, once we write a comment, and publish, we cannot take it back. Even as we realise that what we say may not be accurate. I pray it does not happen, lose a friend in this blog world. I can't imagine what could have been said between you and your friend that could not be rectified. I do not want to have to be careful, because that will steal my comfort of being here among friends.

KarenG said...

Better skip me too, Alex, as I got off my usual schedule due to the Blog BBQ. Will join you next week. And commenting on your post, I think the fear of offending others and losing friends is a common one. I can be pretty blunt in life and don't edit myself like I do in my writing, so yes I've offended many people in my history. Never any real friends tho, as these are the people who take me as I am and just laugh when I say something outrageous instead of getting all huffy.

Jules said...

I can't imagine you offending anyone on purpose, coming from the original offender. Well maybe Kate, you do seem rather stalk-ie. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I thought I'd already signed up do I get a prize for being the 100th to sign up? such as a slide for my garden.
I wish the group all the best.
Yvonne.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Oceangirl, I've never seen you say something that could be taken the wrong way. I wouldn't worry about it!

And Karen, that is a true friend!

Jules, my wife keeps my Kate-stalking in line.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Alex .. I'm not participating .. just here to read and learn and enjoy .. it's just being us and we're who we are .. I think I'm like a KarenG .. usually I think before I write on the net - not sure I do that quite as well in real life .. but am teaching myself (sadly very slowly!).

Congratulations on the Dedication page for CassaFire .. that's just so lovely and I'm sure Rusty, Jeffrey and Anne will be chuffed to bits.

Cheers - Hilary

Heather M. Gardner said...

I love your snark. That's what brings me back each and every post!
Really classy dedication.
I'm too bitchy IRL and online to ever expect to keep friends.
I've got a few great ones that stick with me.
One of them is you!
Thanks so much.
Heather

Javid Suleymanli said...

Actually, I'm preparing a post about that. But, where do we post the article. how do you know about it?

Ciara said...

I can't imagine you saying something wrong, Alex. I have felt the same way especially when I see one number gone from my followers I obsess over what I did wrong. I'm sorry to hear you lost a friend this year.

Samantha Vérant said...

Words of encouragement I can do. YOU CAN DO IT! (Best said by Rob Schneider in any Happy Madison Film Production)

Anne Gallagher said...

As Hilary said, I am chuffed to bits. Thank you so much Alex. That means the world to me. Truly.

And I guess I never told you, CassaFire is an EXCELLENT title.

Enid Wilson said...

Congratulations Alex, review copy in progress already. And what a group you have gathered! Where do you find the time?

Every Savage Can Reproduce

Sommer Leigh said...

Wonderful post, Alex. I'm looking forward to the Insecure Writer's Support Group :-) I've got my post ready to go.

Matthew MacNish said...

I used to worry about offending people a lot more, but then I realized it's better to just be myself. Still, I too hope I haven't alienated anyone.

Dafeenah said...

OMG I cannot even fathom a world that exists where you are capable of intentionally offending someone. I'm so sorry I know all too well how that is. I tend to think things in my head but unfortunately my mouth says whatever it wants instead of what my head meant to say. In real life I don't do social very well but online at least there is an edit button. Too bad life doesn't come with one.

Kelly said...

I agree that the support of bloggers help keep us writers going. But I think if someone loses a friend because of one comment, that person wasn't much of a friend in the first place.

Tonja said...

Wow - 100 people! Great dedication.

iZombie said...

Success comes from support, and support comes from friends, family, and sometimes strangers. Alex, you are my blogger brother, always reminding me/us to move forward even if things look rough.

jeremy

Summer Ross said...

I have my post ready to go for tomorrow. I'm thrilled that CassaFire is coming along so far- Great job Alex!

As far as losing friends, well I can't imagine you truly offending anyone, but keep thinking about one thing- people do grow and when that happens their friendships either grow with them or have to be separated.

Old Kitty said...

Yay for friends!!! Good luck with your support group blog - there's sure to be some great advice and words of encouragement and above all some much needed blogloving!!

Take care
x

Karen Walker said...

HI Alex,
I used to worry about losing friends, too, but I realize that the internet draws all kinds of folks and if I'm going to lose someone over something not in my control, then perhaps that relationship wasn't meant to be anyway. You are doing a wonderful thing here. Thank you.
Karen

salarsenッ said...

I hear you about the concern of words spoken. People can take your meaning many different ways. But genuine friends will 'get' you and/or if they question your meaning, they'll ask.

Sarah Pearson said...

Well, I'm starting to consider you a friend and I don't get offended easily. So there :-)

Carol Kilgore said...

When I was just beginning to write fiction, I lost a writing friend because of the way I phrased something. I was trying to be funny; she took it as a personal accusation. And she was an experienced writer. It happens, and it hurts.

Lola Sharp said...

I'm not participating, BUT, I am here to give support. I am a firm believer in kindness and friendship...but, I also am a firm believer that if you lost a 'friend' over something you had no control over: they weren't a real friend, nor are they worthy of being your friend.
I am willing to bet that this 'friend' you 'lost' did you a big favor by removing themselves from your life. Because, honestly, you don't want someone like that in your life anyway. I am a big believer in surrounding yourself with good, mature, kind people.

Hugs,
Lola

Christa said...

I am worried about losing my friends too. This feels very real to me because I have this whole new virtual world of friends and sometimes it is tough to balance. Thanks Alex. Good post.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Yvonne, I can send a virtual slide!

Hilary, I hope they like it!

Heather, I've never heard you bitch. I'll continue with the snark.

Javid, you post on your own site.

Glad you like it, Anne. And I'm glad my publisher thought of that title, because I was at a loss.

Enid, Ninja skills!

Matthew, you don't have to worry about me.

Dafeenah, thanks, and that would be nice. I was a bit more brash in my youth.

Thanks, Jeremy!

Summer, those are very wise words.

Thank you, Karen.

Sarah, so there right back!

Carol, it does.

Lola, that is true - we are who we hang out with.

L.G.Smith said...

Some days it is tough to negotiate the etiquette of online friendships. Sometimes things gets lost in translation when there isn't that face-to-face interaction, but most people get it. Bottom line -- we're here to support and encourage each other.

Sommer Leigh said...

One tiny request Alex? Can you post a list of a couple of dates ahead for the Insecure Writer's Support Group posts? For us crazy blogging planners who have a month of posts scheduled in advance :-) Are they going to be on a regular schedule?

Amy said...

I feel the same about friends. It's sometimes hard to not offend them, especially when they are what keep you afloat. Whats good about great friends though, is that they stick around no matter what.

Great first day of the Insecure Writer's Support Group! :)

Murees Dupé said...

I can completely relate to this post. I recently experienced a few followers no longer following me and I couldn't understand why. I thought that maybe I did something wrong but I guess that is just how things go. Also I agree that blogger friends are irreplaceable. I too have been wanting to give up on my writing but their kind words pulled me through in the end.

Hart Johnson said...

You are always so fabulously supportive... I just can't even imagine you losing a friend over something you said!

Caught your linky, so I will include it tomorrow and then keep a link to it in my sidebar...

Nancy Thompson said...

Though I know how bad it feels to lose a friend, where you're concerned, when one leaves a void, 10 more will fill it in. You're just that kind of guy.

I always know I can count on you to leave a kind word of encouragement and that bouys me up to face another day of adversity. I suppose, no matter how successful we become, we will always have feelings of insecurity. It's human nature. But some are much more human than others & you are their leader & commander!

We could all learn a lesson on what makes a great friend from you.

Melissa Bradley said...

Excellent and insightful post. Thank you for posting early because you answered some questions i had and it was good to see an example of how this will work.

I have the same fears about friends. I'm always afraid I'll give offense and lose friends because of something I said or in some cases did. I can be snarky and cynical and I love to speak my mind. I'm afraid people might take it in the wrong way.

I'm also still learning the blogging side of things and am trying to organize my time better to visit more people and post more regularly. However, I've had people leave my site and I'm afraid it is because I have not mastered the art of blogging and commenting.

Jeffrey Beesler said...

You can't spell the word "friend" without the word "end". And that's where our friendship will go...to the end of time. So you may lose a friendship here and there over time. That's what happens. It's inevitable. The friends who stick by you? They're the ones who matter.

That brings me to my biggest fear. Do I matter? I know I do, but that doesn't stop the fear from coming into play every now and then. It certainly helps when people give me shout-outs on their blogs, on Twitter #FollowFridays, and most certainly, whenever my name appears in the dedication section of books. Thank you for everything you've done for me, Alex. Like I've said, you have this friend for life.

Liza said...

Alex, you are such a kind blogger I find it hard to imagine that you alienated anyone...

jbchicoine said...

I have to agree that Anne Gallagher is pretty awesome!

I won't be posting this time around, but will definitely do it next month--I'm just that insecure!

My biggest fear with these blog-type-fests (which I NEVER sign up for!) is not being able to follow through. I don't do group activities very well. That said, I have very slowly accumulated enough blogger friends to feel confident that they will support me if I put together a post for Insecure Writer's like me--after all, they are my species! :)

Leovi said...

No doubt, friends are those that generate confidence in ourselves.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

LG, yes we are!

Sommer, sure! It'll be the first Wdnesday of every month, so even if you're one day off, that's cool.

Murees, they do - I would've quit after the first book!

Hart, thank you!

Nancy, thanks, I really appreciate that!

Melissa, you know I will always visit. And I had two guest posts last week on blogging and comments if you'd like to go back a few posts and find them.

Thanks, Jeffrey - I hope you like it! Oh, and I'll get better at remembering the Twittter stuff. I just forget!

JB, then please join us next time - you'll be overwhelmed with support!

Michael Offutt said...

I love this idea. It's so good. I think it's amazing that you can visit so many blogs Alex.

Ellie Garratt said...

Loved your dedication. Those three rock!

Hannah Kincade said...

I'm just coming back on schedule, so I probably won't hit those blogs yet...unless, I already follow them. So many blogger friends to catch up on!!

I'm excited for you new book!! CONGRATS!

Mark Noce said...

Wow, quite an operation you've got going here! Can't wait to see how it all unfolds:)

Erin Kane Spock said...

Words to the insecure writer? Buck up, camper. Ummm... you can do it? Actually, that works. Just sit and write what you love.

As to the loosing friends worry, I get that. I'm a terrible friend because ultimately I'm anti social and assume people don't need the reminders that you care because I don't need these things. It's almost like I have to pretend to be a normal person in order to be a good friend. :( But it's worth it.

Christine Rains said...

Fantastic post. I meet so few people these days that truly appreciate their friends. It's something special to have good friends. There's a lot of wonderfully supportive and inspiring people here. You're one of them. We're all lucky to have you around.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Don't worry about one friendship lost. Doesn't sound like that person was worth it.

My post is ready for tomorrow.

Will Burke said...

With some people, it's just in their nature to be offended. I think that they're frustrated reincarnations of witch-hunters. If your support group turns into censors, you may be in a place worse than friendless. And you won't wind up friendless; you give too much to the Blogging community to be considered an offensive brute by anyone but the most delicate of readers.

Tara Tyler said...

i dont know how you keep up with so many friends!
and you always have a fun or encouraging comment, you couldn lose us if you tried!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Michael, I do my best. Wednesday will be interesting!

Ellie, yes they do!

Thanks, Hannah!

Erin, buck up little camper works for me.

Thank you, Christine.

Will, thanks. And I like that analogy.

Tara, well I'm not going to try!

Sangu said...

I used to be afraid of losing friends too, and then slowly came to understand that the ones that mattered would never be the ones I'd lose. Good friends are fabulous supporters and making new friends is brilliant!

Great post, Alex!

Clarissa Draper said...

I'm really good at forgiving and forgetting. Thank you, bad memory! And don't worry, you've got a friend in me. If friends drop me because of one small incident without allowing for explanation, they're really not that good of friends anyway.

Jamie (Mithril Wisdom) said...

I think you've got no shortage of friends on here :) Looking forward to the first Insecure Writer's Group posting too!

The Golden Eagle said...

I worry about potentially offending people; a bit less than I used to, but it's still a concern for me.

I love the dedication!

And I just signed up for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. I wasn't sure I was going to, with Terry Pratchett Month I'm hosting, the Campaign, and your Blogfest, but heck--I can post twice in one day if I have to. :P

Stephen Tremp said...

I agree on your first point of losing friends. Yeah, I'm insecure in that area. I can totally relate, and its nothing to be ashamed about. I do have a fear of rejection too. Us writers, we can be an insecure group of people.

Michelle Fayard said...

I think I've lost a critique partner not to anything I said while online but because of some serious truths I included in my historical YA. (The main protagonist is a slave on the eve and early days of the Civil War.) But, Alex, I can't imagine your offending anyone, you're just too supportive.

Andrew said...

Luckily, I have no friends, so I can't say I share this fear of yours....
Don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing.

Tara 'Last Name Pseudonym' said...

Heya Alex!

I used to worry about losing friends and potential friends (shyness and sarcasm often don't go over well), but I try to think like Dr. Seuss. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Of course, it's often easier said than done!

I'm so excited about the Insecure Writer's Support Group! It's a great idea and opportunity for all of us to meet, bond, blather on, etc. etc. Thank you!

Jo Schaffer said...

Sounds like a topic that would be easy to go on and on about.
(=
Losing friends... yeah-- that's never fun.

M.J. Fifield said...

I loved your post. Like some of the other commenters, I can't imagine you offending anyone because you are super supportive. But I too worry about offending people/losing friends. I lost a friend/critique partner and that experience has made me a little "once bitten, twice shy."

I have no idea what I'm going to write about tomorrow. I guess it'll just end up being whatever I'm feeling most neurotic about at the time.

Thanks again for spearheading this whole campaign!

M Pax said...

I don't think we ever lose true friends, but sometimes I fear being a bit too oblivious to certain things.

Glad you started this group.

Charles Gramlich said...

It certainly is tough deciding just what you can say and what you can't, but most folks you blog with regularly seem to be able to take a little pushing of the envelope without getting upset.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sangu and Clarissa, thanks!

Golden, thanks for joining us. You've always got such a great attitude and I know you'll give someone hope tomorrow.

Michelle, thanks.

Andrew, could go either way.

Tara, Dr. Seuss was a wise man.

MJ, I'm sure something awesome will come to you.

Doralynn Kennedy said...

I'm confused. Nothing new. Am I supposed to blog at my blog? Or join in on the comments on yours? I thought this was taking place on your blog, and I don't have a post either! Yikes, I think I've found another way to unintentionally screw up! I'll try to get something thrown together... but it's probably going to be pretty pathetic. So I guess that's my insecurity for today! Actually, I think that's my insecurity every time I blog... that my posts are LAME.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I knew that tomorrow was going to be slammed for me, so I'm not on the list for this month...will try to add on for October, though! And I'll look forward to the posts. :) Thanks for putting this together, Alex!

Laura said...

That was a good starting point as I reckon we all get that fear. But Alex - you're such a staunch friend and supporter, and I love to see that bit of 'snark' :)

Congrats to you for having those three lovely people who got you through CassaFire, and to them for appearing - what a lovely surprise. See you tomorrow with my own writerly meltdown :)
Lxxx

ediFanoB said...

Thanks for a great post.

It is not difficult to offend people especially when you communicate in a foreign language. I know what I'm talking about. Every day I have to communicate with my colleagues around Europe. As we all do not speak French, Spanish, Swedish, Italian, and,and, we decided to use English. We use Skype and other tools. And we often use emoticons. Because often a picture tell you more than thousand words.

Every time when I write a comment, a post or a mail I think about which words to use. So I use a dictionary which sometimes drive me mad. I enter one word in German and get twenty different words in English. But there i one thing which really helps a lot: Reading, reading, reading, reading, ...

Your publisher is preparing review copies? AWESOME news!!!

I fully understand your dedication. I'm sure these people really deserve review copies.

Now I try to find the right words. I neither want to butter you up nor I want to pressure you.

I just want to express my hope that there will be a review copy waiting for me.

With CassaFire it should be no problem to extend your Ninja Army beyond 1000 members!!

Fingers crossed that CassaFire will be a raving success!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Doralynn, your posts are NOT lame! And yes, you post on your own blog tomorrow. I know you'll come up with something great.

Elizabeth, people would really benefit from your experience! I hope you can participate next month.

Laura, I'll keep up the snark then!

Edi, I have another great friend in Belgium and I would never know English is not his native tongue, because like you, he's worked at it. I think you always use just the right words. And I'm sure review copy will be coming your way soon - I'll let my publisher know you are eager to read it. And then I'll pray you enjoy it as much as the first one.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You've got heart, Alex.

xoRobyn

Bethany Elizabeth said...

I hate the idea of losing friends, especially over stupid things. Sometimes friendships have to end, I recognize that, but I'd much rather resolve the problem and respectfully part ways first. Leaving things unresolved kills me. Of course, it's not like we always have a choice.
But I love this post, because blogging friends are so fantastic. I don't know what I'd do without them!

tfwalsh said...

That is a such a valid fear... especially once you've formed such a tight bond with others, even if over the net, it would be terrible to lose it:)

She Writes said...

Alex,

I love this idea! I am very interested. Too bad today I posted my insecurities rather than tomorrow.

As for friends and losing them, I know that fear all too well. The good ones remain and then you know who is real.

alexia said...

Alex, you are right. Writer friends are great, and the blogosphere is a really supportive place.

Tyrean Martinson said...

Alex - Thank you for this post, and for your ongoing encouraging comments! You rock! Losing friends is hard, painful stuff. I had something similar happen to me about this time last year. It was really rough, and still is some days.
I'll post tomorrow - although you might guess what my biggest fear is already.
BTW - boat driving is fairly easy as long as no one else is on the water and the skier doesn't jump the wake during a turn.

Chuck said...

Alex, great news about CassaFire. I am really stoked to read it as soon as it is available. Not being a professional writer I would never be qualified to review your book on that level but if you need a review from a fellow metalhead and sci-fi geek-about-town layman...I would be honored. By visiting many of the sites I have run across, thanks to your blog, I have learned some valuable writing tips. Now remembering them and using them may be a different story...

Rusty Webb said...

Whoa. I am so unworthy of being in the dedication of your newest. I'm... without words. Thanks.

I've worried about losing friends too. I tend to lose them in real life due to neglect. I can be such a loser. But so much can be lost in the written word. I can't always make my sarcasm/good natured jibes come across that way. It's the risk we all run when we choose to be snarky or pithy.

But I can be insecure in all sorts of ways. I should be able to post about this for years. Great idea for this, really.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

aw crap! I totally forgot this was this week as well. Sigh.
Anyway, losing friends definitely sucks. Luckily i haven't really lost any in a while, and most the ones i have were just because we drifted apart, in most cases literally as people moved away.
Sigh

Nicki Elson said...

Aw, you are awesome, Alex. What a sweet dedication. I'm all set for my post tomorrow and am looking forward to reading others. It was nice to get a preview here. :)

The fear of saying the wrong thing lurks beneath the surface w/ me too. But some people's skin is too thin, and there's nothing you can do about that.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Bethany, sometime we don't have a choice, and that's tough.

She Writes, join us anyway!

Thanks, Tyrean. So I need to find a really big empty lake...

And Chuck, metalhead, sci-fi geekness is what makes you cool, dude! You're a good friend.

Rusty, I already said you were an honorary member. And without words? I'm going to print that out and frame it.
And you're not only worthy - you're a far better writer than I.

Nicki, hope the preview helped. You guys are on your own next time. Look forward to your post tomorrow!

Donna K. Weaver said...

Lovely dedication, Alex. I know if I ever get published I'll have a huge number of people to thank.

L'Aussie said...

You're an awesome blogger friend Alex. All power to you and your friends and CassaFire. Denise

I'll be posting my IWSG post in a couple of hours.

Copyboy said...

Since I'm a copywriter, my fear is not satisfying the client and not finding another word for Win.

Julie Musil said...

Alex, you are such a genuine person. It's so cool that you dedicated your book to great friends. I'm sure they're also thankful you're in their lives. Writers and bloggers are an amazing bunch of people, and I'm so thankful to be a part of this amazing community!

julie fedderson said...

You are one of the most genuine people I've met during my blogging beginnings. I think your sincerity comes through no matter how much snark is there, and that is something that you cannot fake. I get that sense of comradery and true connection with everything you do! Glad to call you a friend.

Donna Hole said...

Congrats on your CassaFire progress Alex. I'm excited for you, and can't wait to purchase this sequel.

I doubt very much you could ever offend anyone deliberately Alex. But sometimes people take things the wrong way - and carry a grudge instead accepting the fallibility of others. As one who once offended you with a careless comment, I understand how you feel about this sentiment. Sometimes, it just happens though.

True friends forgive and accept apologies, then move on. Thanks for being a caring, understanding person.

I finally signed up on the link. I've been busy in my private life and some revisions on a short story publication, and just didn't really check this out earlier. This is a great concept; kudos to you for taking on such a huge project.

.......dhole

Lynda R Young said...

Yep, I have the same fears. I have a knack for stuffing up and I really don't want to do that.

Thanks for hosting this brilliant group.

Lyn

Isis Rushdan said...

I have to admit your post made me super nervous. I'm always putting my foot in my mouth. Online interaction doesn't help because so much is lost with no body language, tone of voice, etc.

So sorry to hear that you lost a friend. It's the kind of thing we all dread.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Copyboy, guess "Charlie Sheen" doesn't work, huh?

Julie, thank you very much!

Donna, you're right - real friends forgive and move on. Glad you're part of the group.

Isis, I guess sometimes we just can't worry about it and just do our best.

Ciara said...

Alex, I have a tab designated for this group. Is there any way I can change the link to http://www.ciaraknight.com/iws-group/
If not, no big deal. Thought I'd save people a click from the daily blog to that specific tab.
Thanks,
Ciara

E. Arroyo said...

Thanks for sharing, Alex.

kmckendry said...

I think if a "friend" is that touchy then maybe they are not a true friend. You deserve better!

Ella said...

Great beginning and I love your honesty! You are authentic and I so appreciate this! I have lately seen the ugly side of art publication; it ain't pretty~ This has me wondering about other doors, I want to walk through, regarding publication.

I can't imagine you losing a friend. I do remember you posting about it. I think in this arena, we can miscalculate and be misunderstood. People connect with us and some want more than we can give. It is blogging; we can't see body language, hear a tone in one's voice, or post. WE just have to hope for the best and try not to offend. It does happen; I fear it, too~

Suze said...

This is an ace thing you've organized, Alex. Proud to be a part of it.

I do promise to look up a couple dozen posts from fellow bloggers when I come back to blogging in a month's time, and I will have another post up for October-- back in full swing.

I've posted two links to Analog Breakfast from Girl Wizard for September's group. Thanks, again, for putting all of this together.

Btw, I don't know if you went back to the post on which I commented this (it was a response to one of your comments on a post of mine) but I bought your book. :)

Liz Fichera said...

Alex, this is such a wonderful idea for a blog hop. I've already read several very touching posts. I'm a bit overextended (and sick) at the moment, otherwise I would have hopped in.

Without blogging buddies like you and others, my day would be so boring. :)

Christine Danek said...

I'm insecure about a lot of things--losing a friend is one of them. I try to keep in mind to just keep moving forward. I know easier said than done.
Thanks and loving this group.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Ciara, thanks! On the main linky, I don't think so, since I created it, but you can link the button to you page.

Ella, thanks, and it is an area where we can be misunderstood.

Oh Suzette, thanks! I appreciate that.

Liz, that's fine, you can jump innext mnth when you are ready.

Thanks everyone and glad this is a huge success so far! I'll get around to all the posts by tonight.

Julie said...

I can really relate to your fear of saying or doing something dumb, I have always struggled with this. So much so that I wind up not saying anything, and ending up too reserved! Thanks for sharing your insecurity, and thanks again for starting this great group. I got off track this week with posting, but I'm looking forward to supporting everyone else and participating next time. Great post!

Arlee Bird said...

I try to be tactful so as not to lose friends, but it's sad to see when followers drop off. When my malware problem arose last week I realized that blogs are subject to attack by outside forces--something that really sucks--and now I'm insecure that some nefarious force could strike our blogs and destroy all the work we've put into them. In a matter of a few days I lost 16 followers and I feared that my credibility as a trustworthy blogger would be in jeopardy. I've since regained the followers, but I'm now much less secure about my presence on the internet.
Great turnout for this topic, Alex.

Lee

Patricia Lynne said...

OH, I totally forgot about this bloghop! Fortunately, my post I put up for today does have to do with a struggle I'm having, so I think it can count. Shhh! That's the excuse I'm sticking with. >.>

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Julie, that's cool.

Lee, be sure to back up your blog often. It would suck to lose everything.

Patricia, works for me!

Bob Sanchez said...

I've had a couple of occasions where I nearly lost online friends because of my tendency to wisecrack. My intent will be clear in my own head, but someone else reads my words differently. We've gotta choose our words carefully.

Jessica Salyer said...

Alex,
Great blog. I know that I also have had insecurities in life when it comes to friends. The one thing I have learned though, is that, true friends are there for you always! Even when your being overly snarky ;).
Thanks again for organizing this. I'm trying to get my blog done sometime today.
Jess

Jennifer Hoffine said...

What a cool blog hop...I'm reading some and hope to join in the next time (if you do it again).

Cynthia Chapman Willis said...

Ouch--losing friends really is hard. Sometimes it happens, but it's still hard, even if it is for the best.

I just discovered your blog and I am so glad I did. : )

Elana Johnson said...

What a great blog hop! I wish I could've known about it beforehand, but I didn't rejoin the land of the living soon enough.

I hear you about this. I also know that my loyal readers go in waves. I've been blogging consistently and long enough to have witnessed this.

Sometimes it worries me, and sometimes it doesn't. I figure people might be getting bored with me, or I didn't visit their blog enough, or something. No matter what, I can only be myself and do what I can do.

Brenda Drake said...

I've been gone too long and I missed this! I would've loved to have joined in. I hate losing friends too, it's so heartbreaking. I'll take my words from Dory from Finding Nemo - Just keep swimming! <3

Laura said...

Hello. just writing to say that you are a genius :) This is so much fun pottering around and meeting all these fab people. Thanks Alex xxx

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Bob, I have a couple bloggers I snark and spar with, but I'm careful with my words.

Jess, I'll be looking for it!

Jennifer, it's the first Wednesday of every month, so please join us in October.

Thanks, Cynthia!

Elana, you can join us next month.

Brenda - next month!

Laura, I'll try not to let that go to my head! Thanks, and glad you are having fun with it.

Helen Ginger said...

So many bloggers! What a huge list.

I can't join this month. With no computer at the moment, I'm working on an iPad or my iPhone or my husband's computer when I can get on.

Sorry about losing the friend. That happens. It hurts, but sometimes it just happens.

Empty Nest Insider said...

Excellent dedication Alex!

Leovi said...

I have a walk through some blog and almost all are positive ideas, fantastic!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Can't believe anyone would unfriend you. Great dedication.

Karen Lange said...

Losing friends is tough, you're right! Thankfully my blogging gang is pretty faithful and supportive. My advice? Hang out on cool blogs like this one. :)

laughingwolf said...

grats on the successful launch, alex!

one prob i have, with both blogger, aka google, and facebook... neither allows editing of even your own posts! GRRRRRRRRRR

and yeah, i keep losing friends... on both... makes me wonder what i did wrong THIS time...?

likely will never know....

Elizabeth Mueller said...

Whoa, Alex, this project will keep you busy for a good week. I have other fears and worries. I'm happy to see you doing this--best wishes to everyone! :)


♥.•*¨Elizabeth¨*•.♥

Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?

YA Paranormal Romance, Darkspell coming fall of 2011!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Helen, hope you can join us sometime. Isn't it cool to have an iPad though?

Karen, thanks!

Laughingwolf, sometimes we never know. I still need to get to your post today!

Elizabeth, it's kept me busy all day!

Lynn said...

I haven't been around so this is my first time seeing this blog hop. I've enjoyed the posts! Losing friends is tough. Tough too when staying true to your convictions but the other person just isn't on the same page. Now off to read others!

ali cross said...

Oh, Alex. You have made this hard-hearted girl cry. ((hugs))

That was beautiful, wonderfully, said.

Curmudgeon said...

I write satire and comedy. If I don't offed someone I haven't written well. Even so I'm trying to learn other things to hone my skills and not be so manic so I'll behave as I need friends and feedback.

kelly said...

I really thought that I had posted this here, but apparently I had not.

This post is in response to your topic.

http://clickerbug.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/raw-exposure/#comments

Talli Roland said...

Oh, the thought of losing friends makes me quiver, too. I hear you!

And this is such a great idea, Alex. I might enter after my release, when I'll have a bit more time.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Lynn, feel free to join us next time!

Ali, I didn't mean to make anyone cry!

Talli, please do. I know you've got a lot going one with your release.

Susan Fields said...

What a wonderful dedication - it's great that you gave a shout-out to your friends!

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Alex,

First, let me apologize for not having my post up yet. I plan to do it right NOW....

I feel exactly how you do about friends and the blogging community. This group is by far the most compassionate and supportive group of people I have ever encountered in my life and would never want to hurt any of them either.

Off to write my post. I hope you understand that I just arrived back in town from vacation and I had no internet access the past few days....

Angela Felsted said...

Well, Alex. I think you are amazing, how you support everyone. The time and effort you put into your friendships is an inspiration to me.

RosieC said...

I'm sorry about the misunderstanding between you and this friend you mentioned. It's a shame when things come between people. I've had similar situations, and it's never easy. One friend and I have been trying to fix our friendship ever since, and it's like building the pyramids by yourself with no tools. So I feel your pain.

What helps to remember is how many amazing and great friends are still out there. No, one friend can never replace another, but each person brings a unique and special gift to the friendship and your life. Be grateful for the friends you have every day, because they're certainly grateful for you.

And thanks for putting this together, Alex. It's been of great help to me already.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I have lost a few blogger friends but not do to something I did. They just decided to up and leave and stop blogging. Some without any notice. I try emailing but get no response. I miss those that I have connected with and enjoy the ones that are still around.

Nate Wilson said...

Alex, I'm offended by your overly supportive nature, and you've lost me as a friend.

Luckily, I'm really quite fickle, so I may even be back in your corner before I finish writing this comment...

The Old Silly said...

I really don't think you should have any insecurities over your writing at all. Sure, some people will take things the 'wrong' way, but if you have a network of pre-final draft readers for your ms's (which I highly recommend for all authors) they can point out any possible faux pas and you can deal with them if you concur there is risk worthy of change.

Rebecca Kiel said...

Congratulations! A few more of those and you can change the name to "The Almost Secure..."

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Michael, no problem! I'll hop over and read it.

Thank you, Angela.

Thanks for the encouraging words, Rosie. Glad you enjoyed this!

PTM, frustrating when people just vanish.

Thanks, Nate!

Marvin, if only it had been about the content of the book!

Rebecca, I like that!

Carolyn V said...

I hate losing friends too. I'm glad to find your blog! I could sure use the encouragement with the writing. =)

li said...

Yikes! What a list. We insecure writers are so NOT alone :-) Planning on joining up after the REN3 Blogfest. I'll probably really need it then.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Carolyn, welcome!

Lisa, the posts have been so amazing...

Monti said...

Alex, thank you for being such a significant support for writers and bloggers who need evidence there is someone out there reading and caring!

Monti
NotesAlongtheWay

Joyce Lansky said...

You had quite a healthy following for this hop. Congrats!

Joyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

Jemi Fraser said...

With all my malware troubles & the first week of school craziness I totolly missed this. Hopefully next month!

Cheeseboy said...

I love this new meme you are all doing, but of all my blogging friends, you are the one that has the LEAST to be insecure about.

Amity said...

I wish I could participate in here Alex, but I am sooooooooo pre-occupied these days...especially in office...so hard, because of so many assignments in preparation for our week-long founding anniversary of our town.

Now my fears would simply be, blogger friends would soon forget me...Thank goodness, you always find time to read me so my insecurities of losing blog friends have diminished a little...

Will try to catch up soon, come the 3rd week of the month...:)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Monti and Joyce, thanks!

Jemi, join us next month.

Appreciate that, Cheeseboy.

Amity, I will always come see you!

~Sia McKye~ said...

It was interesting to read through everyones thoughts and comments.

I worry about my blog friends--not so much in saying something that offends but not being able to be as much of a support as I'd like to be.

Right now, with some serious health issues to deal with I can't always show support by stopping by everyone's blog. While my energy levels are improving they just aren't up there enough. So my visits to my normal list are hit and miss. Some times a day or two late. I do try to get to everyone at least once or twice a week.

You have a great idea here, Alex. BTW, if you need a review? Count me in.

Sia McKye's Thoughts...OVER COFFEE

Judy Harper said...

I wasn't able to post on Insecure Writer's Support Group due to one of my worst fears...high winds that downed trees and power lines! My electricity didn't come back on until Wednesday evening at 5:00 pm. I am posting a late post on the group and showing the list. I will try next month!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sia, thanks - and I hope you're feeling up to your old self really soon.

Judy, that's all right! Stupid weather.

Curmudgeon said...

Kinda not sure, never did anything like this. so I am lost. I supposed to post a fear or a story. I'm new and wasn't sure what to do.Before I used it for storage and to avoid printing costs, but it started getting hits and comments. I'll post an insecurity for now.

Bucket said...

Regarding the loss of a friends... I feel that if you have a true relationship, simply being snarky or sarcastic is insufficient to ruin a relationship. There are only so many things that you have control over in a friendship. The rest lies in the other persons hands. They are equally responsible for the relationships success. So let your friends know they are important to you and hope that they understand your particular brand of humor and interaction. If they know you, they will understand.

Bucket
guessingandkeepingstill.blogspot.com

TerryLynnJohnson said...

the positive news is you're in good company because I think just about every single writer has insecurities.
I hope that all these words of encouragement before me have helped.
thanks for sharing and starting this!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Curm, saw your post - you did good!

Bucket, I am careful with my words, just a shame words had nothing to do with that particular situation.

Terry, I was overwhelmed this week with the response!

Laila Knight said...

Alex, I knew you had some closet mushiness in you after all. I feel honored to call you a friend. Snark away. BTW: You're getting dangerously close to 1000 followers. Going insane yet? :)

cathyvhasseldavies said...

I am so sorry I didn't post this month. I was looking forward to it. Unfortunately I am not dealing well my sick Chantilly. She is our 10 year old Yorkie, our daughter, and the love of our life. On top of that I am now sick with a summer cold YUCK!!!
I hope to be there next month!!!

Hugs!!
Cat

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Laila, thanks! A thousand followers is a scary thing!

Cat, looking forward to your post in October!

Melissa Sugar said...

Alex, this is brilliant. I am sure we all have insecurities and now you have given us a forum to express them without fear combined with an opportunity to get to know others who share our passion for writing and the insecurities that often come with that passion.

I have missed reading your blog. You probably don't remember me as I was blogging sporadically until I neglected to renew my domain name. LSS- I lost all content including friends followers etc.

I am starting from scratch &I feel like I have found a great place to start. I am looking forward to 10/6 so that I can join in.

I hate that you lost a friend over something beyond your control. We learn who are true friends are when situations like this occur.

Very nice dedication. You are a genuine & good person. The real deal.

Take care
Melissa Sugar

Munir said...

First of all Congratulations on the publication of your second book. Also thanks for reading my blog. I am honored.