Friday, June 10, 2011

You Can't Be Too Careful...

Today I have something really unique for you! Bob Sanchez’s new book, Little Mountain, came out recently. But instead of the usual guest post, he’s treating you to a humorous, prize-winning short story. (Shifty! as Hart would say.) Take it, Bob!

YOU CAN’T BE TOO CAREFUL
By Bob Sanchez

George knew the world was coming apart at the seams. Only by furious effort had the world avoided the Y2K debacle, with its attendant threat of planetary lockjaw. Citizens would have been shot dead for their bottled water, their gasoline, their triple-A batteries and their clean underwear.

“I’ve had it with you, George.” Lila was trying to tell him something. He examined an unopened roll of duct tape, wondering if the stuff had an expiration date. Maybe he’d better buy a fresh supply, just in case.

Okay, he thought, we dodged the millennial bullet only to take one in the heart with nine-eleven. We have Columbine shootings, no-fly lists, outsourced jobs and insourced illegals, corporate meltdowns, ozone holes, and Americans up to their asses in IEDs in Iraq. Now that Pacific Rim runt has Nagasaki-sized nukes he’ll be selling to terrorists to finance restocking his liquor cabinet and his porn collection.

Lila grabbed the package out of his hand. “This isn’t going to keep out sarin, anthrax, or radioactive isotopes.”

“You’re red in the face,” George said. “Are you sick?”

“Only of living in a bomb shelter, surrounded by” —she waved an arm in a sweeping motion—“sterile gauze and chlorine tablets. And a year’s supply of Charmin!”

“Because if you’re sick, you should sleep on the cot tonight.” He took back the duct tape and opened the package. “Maybe I didn’t seal the windows properly.”

“We don’t need to live like this! We are not a terrorist target—we’re a hundred miles from the nearest city!”

“But downwind,” he said quietly.

For the first time, he noticed that she had her winter coat on and that she had packed a suitcase.“I’m leaving you,” she said.

“Right now?”

“Now isn’t soon enough, but yes.”

“But you’re safe here.”

“I don’t care. I’m sick of being safe. I’ll risk sorry.”

George took Lila’s hand, and for a fleeting moment her expression softened. Then he placed the roll of duct tape into her hand. “At least take this,” he said.

He thought nothing of it when her jaw dropped at the sight of his gift.

Or when she gripped it tightly in her fist.

Or when she cocked her arm like a World Series fastballer.

So he didn’t blink when her arm whipped forward. The hard, black roll followed a short, swift trajectory from her fingertips to his temple. George had always suspected that his life would end in a flash of blinding light.

And so it did.


Bob Sanchez has written three novels, no two alike: When Pigs Fly is a comic crime caper; Getting Lucky is a noir detective novel aptly described as "seamy and steamy"; and his latest, Little Mountain, is a serious ethnic mystery that might give you nightmares. He shamelessly flogs them all at his BLOG

Be sure to leave a comment for a chance to win an e-copy of your choice of these books, or to win a grand prize of all three signed paperbacks.

Thanks, Bob! And now this Ninja is off to see Super 8 – who’s with me?

76 comments:

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Enjoyed the post Alex. good to read other's reviews of books.
Have a good day.
Yvonne.

Clarissa Draper said...

I wouldn't have killed but I would have left a man that lived in a bomb shelter for no reason. What a great story. Love the POV. I'll check out his other books.

Teresa aka Journaling Woman said...

I enjoyed the story. Love it. I must say (and don't hold this against me) I know people like George. I'm not organized or paranoid enough to put all that together, nor able to live in a bomb shelter.

Old Kitty said...

I LOVED IT!! I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT THE LAST SENTENCE!! Does that make me slighty perverse?!?! I guess it does!! Yay!!!

Thank you Bob Sanchez for brightening my grey day and thank you Cap'n Alex for hosting!! Take care
x

A Beer for the Shower said...

Good humor is hard to come by, and that was pretty damned funny. Thanks for sharing.

Ellie Garratt said...

Wow. Have to say this is stunning, Bob. It definitely makes me want to check out Little Mountain!

Thank you, Alex.

Ellie Garratt

Talli Roland said...

Fantastic story, Bob. Thank you! And thanks to Alex, too.

Sommer Leigh said...

Cool story :-) I enjoyed.

And Alex, I'm totally with you to see Super 8! You grab the popcorn and I'll get the cherry icee drinks.

I probably won't get there this weekend, but it is on my list of things to do for next week.

Jack of Diamonds said...

Very well written story, followed!

Mason Canyon said...

Oh that was great. Thanks for the laugh this morning. Poor George. :)

Mason
Thoughts in Progress
Freelance Editing By Mason

Julie said...

What a great story. I really enjoyed reading it, great work Bob!

Thanks for sharing the story, Alex, and enjoy Super 8!

Margo Benson said...

Thank you Alex, thank you Bob! That was one of those laugh, hiccup, splutter moments - perfect for Friday!

Dafeenah said...

Thanks Alex I love finding new people. Don't forget to save me some skittles!

Stephen Tremp said...

Super 8 has CERY COOL written all over it. Enjoy. And good luck to you Bob with your tour and all the promotional events you have scheduled!

Bob Sanchez said...

Cap'n Ninja Alex, Sir, you have quite an army. Here I just slipped on enough to be decent and haven't made it to the coffeepot yet, and your troops are already marching through cyberspace.

GigglesandGuns said...

Loved this! My kind of story.
Super 8 -- next week I hope

Bossy Betty said...

Very cool! Love reading good stuff first thing in the morning. Death by Duct Tape.

Suze said...

Hope you liked the movie. :)

li said...

That's a superb - and sad - little story. Reminds me of when we lived near Three Mile Island during the crisis; all of the windows in the schools had to be closed and blinds drawn. We dismissed early, and were yelled at when we opened the bus windows.

Tina said...

Nice, tight little tale! Me thinks I need his books...so free is good! Just let me grab the keys and my contraband outside snacks and I'm with you for the movie!
Tina @ Life is Good

Bob Sanchez said...

Li, I'd never looked at it as sad, but you're right. What did you kids do when you got off the bus near TMI? Did your parents make you stay inside?

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Clarissa, death does seem a little extreme.

Kitty, I knew it would appeal to your sense of humor!

Sommer, I'll let you know what I thought of the movie on Monday - no spoilers though!

Stephen, very cool or cery cool? Just checking!

Bob, my army is awesome!

Li, that's wild.

Tina, you don't sneak in food do you? Got room for my Hot Tamales?

Sangu said...

Oooh this was a cool way of doing a guest blog post - I loved it!

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hey, BOB,

Nice job. I really enjoyed you story!

Enjoy the movie Alex....

Charles Gramlich said...

"Death on tape." lol.

Arlee Bird said...

It is a humorous story on one level, but then again I can see a darker, creepier side to it. No matter what, I enjoyed it.

I'm looking forward to hearing about Super 8. The trailers have me interested.


Lee
Tossing It Out

Jules said...

Any story with duct tape in it to me is a great one, love the stuff :) Thanks to you both for the laugh.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Lee, I'll post a review on Monday!

Jules, duct tape fixes everything.

Lydia K said...

How romantic. Duct tape!

Karen Lange said...

Enjoyed this, thanks, Bob and Alex, for sharing. Kept wondering what was going to happen. Liked the line, “I don’t care. I’m sick of being safe. I’ll risk sorry.”

Happy weekend!

Bob Sanchez said...

Luckily for me, I checked with Cap'n Alex ahead of time. I was all set to dish up something useful (read: dull) when Alex said, "No, no! My troops have had a tough week, and they demand amusement!"

Tomorrow I'll give away an ebook to one of the commenters, so please keep those words coming.

Rebecca Kiel said...

Great idea for a guest post! Thanks!! Well done.

Helen Ginger said...

Loved the story Bob. I think I would have cold-cocked him, too.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Bob, I've tried to be serious, but it tends to come off as amusing as well!

Angela Felsted said...

This is hilarious!

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Thanks for the comment. most appreciated.

Is there more gremlins with blogger? all my followers are missing.

Yvonne.

Carol Kilgore said...

When Pigs Fly - I love the title. Can't wait to hear about Super 8, Alex.

Rhonda at Laugh Quotes said...

I love to laugh! Thanks. so much fun.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Yvonne, mine are missing as well! Something ate them...

Thanks Bob for the laugh and glad we've kicked off the weekend right!

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Excellent literary illustration of the need to take risks! Thanks, Bob and Alex, for sharing this!

LynNerd said...

I'm coming in late, but I'm so glad I got to read this story. Bob, you do have a wonderful sense of humor. The irony is great. I saw a little bit of my husband and myself in this story, always trying to get our earthquake supplies in order! We live in So. Calif. You can never have too much duct tape, can you? Nice twist at the end of the story.

By the way, Little Mountain has sucked me in. I'm a slow reader. Otherwise I would have finished it by now.

Hi Alex! I've seen your name in comments on numerous blogs, so it's high time I came over to say hello.

LynNerd said...

P.S. My husband's name is George! Haha!

Dani said...

Men! Hahaha. That was good, Bob.

ali said...

That story was AWESOME. So of course I'm off to learn more about your book! Thanks Bob and Alex!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

He's incredibly creative. I'm impressed and hopping over to his blog.

Hope you're having a good weekend, Alex.
xoRobyn

Enid Wilson said...

Some people act recklessly, after a long period of suppression. It's the constant air of restraint that urge them on. Great book, Bob. And Alex, good luck with your team.

Chemical Fusion

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey Lyn! Nice to meet you and glad you enjoyed Bob's story.

Enid, the army continues to grow...

Thanks everyone!

Katherines Corner said...

Great post as always!Super 8 is on our radar, perhaps tomorrow. Thank you for always taking the time to visit Katherines Corner I hope you realize how much I appreciate you. Hugs!

Bob Sanchez said...

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I've never had this much positive attention since I can't remember when. Later today I'll give away the ebook I promised.

Raquel Byrnes said...

That was great! Laughed at the end. What a cool way to blog tour. I'll have to check him out. :)
Edge of Your Seat Romance

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Katherine, I try to visit as often as possible!

Bob, this army is just awesome that way.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I would've bopped him, too!

M Pax said...

A duct tape killing. Fabulous. All success to Bob. :)

Ann Best said...

I'm so glad you made a comment on my blogspot blog; it was about your 2 tries to comment. Blogger's getting really buggie, it seems.

I LOVED this story. I laughed out loud several times. And the end was a zinger.

I'd LOVE to read any one of his books!
Ann Best, Author of In the Mirror, A Memoir of Shattered Secrets

Jennie Bailey said...

Love the story! What a treat!! I'm going to see Bridesmaids with the girls this afternoon. I have to wait for the hubster to see Super 8. Tomorrow!! I hope it's everything everyone has said that it is!!

Ella said...

Well Done Bob! Yes, sometimes living too safe can be deadly~

I was headed to Super 8; hubby, daughter n' I in Home Depot. AC in the FROG(craft room died). He said, "let's go". I had 5mimutes of thrill, before my daughter's plans changed everything. She was invited to spend the night, at a friend's house. They were going to come pick her up at 7pm. A damn txt changed it all; they are picking me up at 3pm. There went movie plans...no go!
I hope it was as fab, as I think it will be ;D I want to hear what you think~ Now, I'm cool in the FROG and cleaning-bleck!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Ann, I would've kept trying until my comment went through!!

Jennie, you'd dig it!

Ella, what a bummer! I would've told them they had to wait.

Melissa Bradley said...

Great story! I dig Bob and I'm going to have to check out his stuff.

After emergency dental surgery today, I'm treating myself to Super 8 tomorrow.

Len Lambert said...

Thank you Alex and thank you Bob! Sounds like a great story! :) I will check Super 8 out :)

Leovi said...

As the fragments tell us that you have selected, it seems a very interesting and thrilling action novel by Bob Sanchez. Greetings.

Patricia Stoltey said...

Nice story, Bob. And thanks to Alex for featuring it on your tour.

This reminds me a bit of the 50s when my dad was convinced he should build a bomb shelter on our farm. My mom said, "No way, because she had no desire to be a survivor in the kind of world that would follow a nuclear disaster." I guess there's always something to worry about, isn't there? :)

tfwalsh said...

Really enjoyed the story, Bob, thanks for sharing.

Alex - so want to see Super 8 too. Also tagged you on my blog - check it out.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Melissa, I'm sorry! That sucks. Yes, go and enjoy - I thought it was awesome!

TF, thanks!

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Thanks for following my travels,
I think I'm over the jet lag, it's good a small portion of followers have taken the trouble to read.

Still having trouble leaving my name on comments I make to some followers despite changing to Firefox. one confused Englishperson here.
Enjoy your Sunday.

alexia said...

I loved that! Very funny and a great voice.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Yvonne, sorry Blogger is being such a hassle!

Catherine Lavoie said...

Loved the story. Thanks Bob!
Enjoy the movie and congrats on the followers! :)

Julie Musil said...

OMG, he gives her the duct tape! Poor George deserved what he got. Great story, Bob.

Anne R. Allen said...

Death by Duct tape. Love it. Thanks for the fun story.

Can't wait to read your review of Super 8!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Death by duct tape - there's a book in there somewhere!

Anne, just prepared my review of Super 8 for tomorrow morning.

Pat Tillett said...

That was really good and I enjoyed it a lot. I also discovered one more use for duct tape!

K.C. Woolf said...

Great story. :-)

Is there anything you can't do with duct tape?

Lindsay N. Currie said...

Great post - really enjoyable! Hey - let us know how Super 8 was. . . I heard it compared to Goonies, which naturally made me want to see it:)

Bob Sanchez said...

Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments. Now it's time to announce the winner of our door prize, a Kindle version of my mystery Little Mountain. (Is it possible for a blog to have a door prize?) And now--drum roll, please--our winner is:

Michael De Gesu! Woo hoo!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Pat and KC, duct tape has many uses!

Lindsay, much better than the Goonies!

Bob, thanks for amusing the army and congratulations to Michael!!

Amity said...

Suffice to say Alex, the review you made is very nice...:)

Thanks for sharing, I wish I could just easily grab a copy of those books...well, is it an e-book? Hmmm...:)