Monday, October 4, 2010

Sneak Peak

Thanks to those who've asked! Hope it's not too long.


CassaStar excerpt from Chapter Two. Byron and his partner have begun Cosbolt training:

By the end of the first week, they emerged from the simulator feeling triumphant. Not only had they completed another practice drill without error, but Byron felt he’d exhibited several complicated and daring moves in the process. Performing several jumps by way of the ship’s teleporter, he’d emerged at the precise location every time. All targets were destroyed and they’d easily completed their task within the allotted time frame. In Byron’s mind, their run was perfect.

Trindel removed his helmet, revealing curly locks now plastered to his head. “We’re good!” he exclaimed, flashing one of his broad grins.

Byron removed his own helmet and tossed back his head. Running fingers through his straight, black hair, he caused the strands to stick out in an unnatural pattern. Grinning at his navigator, Byron straightened his shoulders with pride.

“No, I’d say we’re perfect,” he boasted, holding up his fist.

Trindel returned his gesture and they tapped knuckles. As one, the young men walked toward the control room. Byron predicted another report of excellence on his team’s record.

Officers Rellen and Char were monitoring their flight today and awaited the men in the control room. Byron was surprised to discover Bassa also present. The young men snapped to attention, aware their casual posture would be viewed as unacceptable by the senior instructor. Bassa briefly noted their entrance, his gaze once again returning to the series of monitors in the control room. Rellen and Char remained seated but leaned away from the main panel. Byron waited for one of the men to speak.

“Adequate run, offered Bassa, his gaze still averted.

Byron had to suppress the indignation that arose in his thoughts. “Yes, sir,” he replied in unison with Trindel.

Officer Bassa straightened his shoulders, a frown on his face. He turned to face the young men, his hands clasped behind his back.

“You performed numerous jumps,” he observed, meeting Byron’s eyes.

“I do what I feel is necessary to succeed, sir,” Byron replied, ready to defend his decisions.

Bassa's eyes narrowed. “A good pilot cannot rely solely on the teleporter. You must learn to master maneuvers.”

“Yes, sir,” answered Byron, taking a quick breath. “We did perform twenty-seven unique maneuvers during that flight, sir.”

He sensed a flash of panic from Trindel, but the feeling was quickly shielded. Bassa’s eyebrows pulled together, reflecting his disapproval of Byron’s unsolicited statement. Realizing he’d spoken out of turn, Byron felt annoyance rise in his thoughts. He didn’t want to incur the senior officer’s wrath but resented criticism of his skills. He’d flown perfectly today.

“Perhaps you’d prefer an opportunity to showcase those maneuvers,” Bassa stated, his tone implying it was an order rather than an offer. “Officer Char, please run number 789 with the teleporter offline.”

“Yes, sir!”

Unable to respond, Byron stared helplessly as Char punched in the code for the program. Bassa gestured for Byron and Trindel to return to the simulator, and they exited the control room with great reluctance.

Well, didn’t take you long to annoy Bassa, Trindel commented privately.

Always start at the top, Trindel…

Byron knew he’d been too quick with his boastful words. Upon reaching the simulator entrance, he paused and glanced up at the control room. Byron grasped his helmet and placed in on his head before nodding at Trindel.

Regardless, we’ll ace this run, he declared, not bothering to shield his thought.

In the control room, Rellen leaned away from the main panel and shook his head. Pivoting in his chair, he looked up at Bassa.

“Yes, he’s damned cocky!” Rellen announced, a smile tugging at his lips. “Boy knows how to push it to the limit, too.”

Still frowning, Bassa watched as Byron and Trindel entered the simulator and closed the hatch. His eyes dropped to the screens across the main panel and located the pilot’s feed. Byron was already in position and preparing for the drill. There was no mistaking the look of confidence and determination on his face.

“We need to redraw the lines then,” Bassa said in a firm voice.


Hope you enjoyed!

66 comments:

Old Kitty said...

I think I need a cold shower now.

LOL!!

Top Gun meets Grumpy Senior Officer in space - it's just such fun, testosterone boosting muscle rippling, manly glossy hair curling of a read, thank you!

Take care
x

The Old Silly said...

DID enjoy! Good excerpt choice - drew me in and left me teased wanting more ...

Jeffrey Beesler said...

This raises so many questions which demand at once to be answered. I can't wait to read more!

Not Hannah said...

Thanks for this little peek into the world you've created. Bassa sounds like a jerk.

The Golden Eagle said...

I definitely enjoyed this excerpt! :D

Journaling Woman said...

This is great...and cruel... making us long for more.

Teresa

Jen Daiker said...

I loved this!!! How great of you to share a snippet with us... getting us sucked in aren't you!!! Love the ploy!

Gail said...

A tantalizing tidbit...hope I spelled that right!

welcome to my world of poetry said...

A pity you stopped when you did I could have quite happily read more.


There is a wee something on my blog for you .

Take care
Yvonne,

DEZMOND said...

I must admit it's interesting how you don't have a single long sentence in this chapter. All of them are very short and concise, you do not use relative sentences, relative pronouns, gerunds and infinitives to tie clauses at all which is in some way quite refreshing. Your sentence structure would be very easy to translate :) it would be a headache free text for translators :)

Mason Canyon said...

Excellent. Definitely want to know what happen from there.

Mason
Thoughts in Progress

Talei said...

Great excerpt, very enjoyable. Now we need to read more? ;) Thanks for sharing.

aspiring_x said...

excellent! excellent! trindel is such a cutie pie! :)

Christine Danek said...

This is awesome. I want to read more.

DEZMOND said...

PS Alex, as your PR :) I've put something for you in my left sidebar four or five days ago, something you might wanna put in your blog too :)

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Okay, one complaint...I want to read more now. Humph. lol.

Piedmont Writer said...

Fun, fun, fun. Very nicely done Alex. Can't wait to see what Bassa has in store for them and how Byron does on the drill.

Great job.

baygirl32 said...

I was supposed to be studying this morning.. now I just want to keep reading!

Charles Gramlich said...

Nicely done

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Kitty, glad I could get you off to a good start this morning.

Not Hannah, wait until you read more about Byron!

Gail, you did!

Dezz, that's good to know! Shorter sentences move faster. I like Timothy Zahn's style of writing, as it's all rapid pacing, so my writing hopefully reflects that.

Thanks everyone! I'm pleasantly surprised you enjoyed this.

Tara said...

I really enjoyed it. This scene did a terrific job of showing a few characters and their personalities - good choice :)

Stephen Tremp said...

Thanks for the trailer tease. I'm going to like Bassa. Hope he's not killed off and is there for the sequel.

Stephen Tremp

Copyboy said...

Great excerpt!!! I'm liking it!!!

Clarissa Draper said...

This is chapter 2? Oh, I'm not reading it. I'm going to purchase the book on the 19th and I just want read it from the beginning.

CD

Bossy Betty said...

I am waiting for the whole book!!!!

Holly Ruggiero said...

Great! It makes me want more.

Arlee Bird said...

That was barely a taste--more like a sniff of a delicious looking dish which makes me want a take a bite, which will undoubtedly leave me wanting to gorge the whole thing in one sitting.

Lee
Tossing It Out

Wild Rose said...

Hmmm...sci-fi writer, interesting and i love Kate Beckinsale too. See you around :)

Carolyn Abiad said...

Wonderful! I've been telling my son about it and now Cassastar is on both of our TBR lists!

Velvet Over Steel said...

I agree, I am waiting for the whole book too! Great tidbits to keep us wanting so much more though! :-)

~ Coreen

Ellie said...

Old Kitty is right - Top Gun in space! Yay!

Is there any way to bribe you into giving me a copy now? LOL.

Colene Murphy said...

SO good! October 19th is too far away!

Eric said...

Okay, don't hate me but I didn't read this. And I do have a good reason. I want the whole book, and reading this will mean I'll be going crazy waiting until the whole thing comes available. So understand that I'm am SO much a fan, but I just couldn't stand the teaser LOL.

Jules said...

Great excerpt Alex. Totally wanting more! :D
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Aleta said...

I'm a Sci Fi fan and enjoyed this! I'm looking forward to when your book is released to keep reading the story!

Mary McDonald said...

Loved the excerpt. It sounds like a fun book. Will be on sale at Amazon?

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Great excerpt, Alex! Byron sounds like a complex protagonist.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

So enticing! Where's the rest?

lbdiamond said...

Nice!

Raquel Byrnes said...

Wha-? You did not just leave me hanging! What happens? Did they pass or did they that cocky smile get wiped away?

Edge of Your Seat Romance

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Such eloquent words, Lee! I like!

Carolyn, thanks - that's great!

Ellie, you could bribe, but I don't have a book to send other than my own personal copy.

Eric, that's okay! Only two more weeks.

Mary, it will indeed!

Raquel, it'll take a lot to wipe away that cocky smile!

Thanks, everyone. I was really worried about posting this.

Carol Kilgore said...

Oh, I like this, Alex. I've met a few Byrons and Bassas in my life. This should be a fun read.

Mary said...

Tidbit! A teeny, tiny tidbit. That's ok I'll wait 14 days to get the book.
This choice was a great hook, Alex.
Mary

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Oh yeah. So looking forward to devouring this whole book! Thanks for sharing :)))

Nicki Elson said...

Thanks for the sneak peek. :)

KK Brees said...

Wish I'd kept on my hormones. Great excerpt!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Mary, that's good - it was the portion I was given permission to post!

KK - it only gets more intense!

Laura Eno said...

Is it the 19th yet? :) Great sneak peek.

Lynda Young said...

Nice one :) So, will the book be released in Australia on the 19th as well? I bet you are going to say I have to wait...

Sangu said...

Oooh! Definitely tons of tension there, I'm so keen to see how this relationship unfolds and how they work together!

RaShelle said...

Cool Alex - I liked it!!!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Lynda, I don't know!

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I don’t usually have sci-fi books on my to-read list, but from this excerpt it looks like I’ll have to make an exception. I like your characters and I want to see what happens next.

Kelly Dexter said...

Classic sci-fi, I'm loving it! Thanks for sharing.

WritingNut said...

Ooh.. amazing! I can't wait to see what happens next! :)

Carolyn V. said...

It was so great! What happens next?

Amanda Sablan said...

No wonder you're a published author; this was great! It had such a manly and cinematic feel to it.

Donna Hole said...

I've been critiquing all night; so forgive me if I offend:

“Adequate run, offered Bassa, his gaze still averted. Should have quotes at the end of "Adequate run," offered Bassa..

And: “Yes, sir,” answered Byron, taking a quick breath. “We did perform twenty-seven unique maneuvers during that flight, sir.”

He sensed a flash of panic from Trindel, but the feeling was quickly shielded. Bassa’s eyebrows pulled together, reflecting his disapproval of Byron’s unsolicited statement.

So, it was Byron that was the "he" in "he sensed a flash of panic"; or was it Trindel? Pov here is unclear.

And why is Byron "unable to respond" as "Char punched in the code for the program" when he clearly hears Trindel comment privately "Well, didn’t take you long to annoy Bassa," and Byron replies "Always start at the top, Trindel…"

Oh, do I love that line "always start at the top". Such expert character building, masterfully coupled with "Regardless, we’ll ace this run,(") he declared, not bothering to shield his thought."

Byron is reckless, confident, yet aware of his actions. I like this hero. He gives me a sense of adventure and risk in this short introduction. Awesome.

Rellen states my take on this excerpt: “Yes, he’s damned cocky!” Rellen announced, a smile tugging at his lips. “Boy knows how to push it to the limit, too.”

Man; I'm even more excited to have the hard copy of this novel. I like these characters. They have - character.

Awesome Alex; thanks for posting this teaser. Hold on; I have to hit the calendar for a payday! Day 19, this book is mine!!

Its my birthday month you know; I can spend money anywhere I want :)

.......dhole

Donna Hole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donna Hole said...

eeek; blogger is duplicating a bad post. And didn't give me a trash can to erase it. Man o man, I hate this ***** netbook.

I'm reverting to paper and pencil.

Finagan . . begin again . .

......dhole

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Thanks, ladies.

Donna, you can edit all you like, but my publisher has already done so and this is the finished product.

Pat Tillett said...

Yeah!
I'm so glad you posted this. Got my pump primed and can't wait for the book...

Cinette said...

I ordered my copy today. Can't wait!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Cinette, thanks!!!!

Chuck said...

Great choice for a teaser post. Looking forward to the 19th.

Jamie Gibbs said...

Awesome stuff :D Bring on the 19th! I'll see how us over here in Old Blighty can get our hands on a copy :D